Here I Go Again (edited)

That little pudge under my bellybutton I mentioned at the end of the last post?

It's okay, I'll wait while you go back and refresh your memory.

Done yet?

How about now?

Okay, good...

It may be getting bigger for the next 8 months or so.

We're in shock. Dadblastit, if infertility can't be counted on as birth control, what the heck is it good for?!

One positive test so far*, after AF was supposed to start on April 1 (yes, at first I figured the non-arrival was a sick joke by Mother Nature), OB's office won't do an ultrasound until 8-10 weeks and we're going on a long planned and longer anticipated Caribbean vacation in the next couple of weeks, but will be back before 8 weeks.

So much for the copious alcoholic beverages I was planning to enjoy. And if I remember correctly, it was dead on the start of week 6 with LO when morning sickness hit with a vengeance. Nothing like being on an airplane or at a lovely resort and not being able to enjoy it because everything makes you want to hurl!

And that's assuming that all is going well and there isn't a repeat of last summer's events; nothing like packing for a beach and pool time and having to take up room with an overload of supplies and then if they are needed not feeling comfortable wearing things which expose one's bottom.

Since erasing the knowledge of what could happen isn't exactly possible, I'm working on not getting too excited or worried about it, hoping for the best while anticipating the worst.

But I will be making that OB ultrasound appointment ASAP.  And calling the RE's office to get their input on anything I can do until then to ease my worries!


*I will note that the one test so far had no reluctance in quickly coming up with a nice dark line, unlike last summer when they were light but still visible. So that's giving me some shred of hope. I need to get one of the new-fangled ones which give a positive plus a guesstimate of how many weeks.

EDIT: Did the digital test this morning and it gave a 2-3 week past ovulation time frame, so still assuming all is well. And mentally twiddling my thumbs until Monday when I can make some calls.

I [heart] my broken children. (edited because Blogger hates me)

What the fuck does that mean?

It was a sticker on the back of a mini-van with at least one other sticker on it: NICU Mom.

I saw the "NICU Mom" sticker first and since I've been there myself (no, not for months or years on end, but did my time none-the-less) it caught my attention.  Not quite a warm and fuzzy reaction, but still a feeling of comradery, mutual survival, and so forth (along with thinking it must have been a long stay to commemorate in that way).

And then, then I saw the sticker with "I [heart] my broken children" and I almost literally heard the record player in my head screech into dead quiet. I fail to understand calling your children broken in the public domain.  Perhaps uttered in the darkness of the blackest night when the world feels heaviest upon your shoulders but to put it out there for all, including your children, to see?  I fail to even come close to comprehending how that could ever ever ever be considered okay.
 
Why not take responsibility for that where it lies: your broken body screwed up your children.  Uncharitable, I know.

More charitably, I can only hope it is meant to be a joke, a poor joke that in the end isn't very funny to those who only see the potential for hurt.

Can someone please explain...because I just don't get it.

Here's a Nasty Little Secret...

I spent the early years of IF hoping my husbands younger brother would get his then girlfriend pregnant so we could have the baby.

I am a bad person. Or maybe at that time I was just desperate. 

Then they broke up and she ended up having a baby with her next boyfriend.

Not sure if you call that irony or just a kick in the head.

Anyway, we got lucky in the end.  Even if the story isn't over yet.

(No, that's not implying any sort of news. We're still figuring out how we get to agreement on what the ending might be..)

Over and Out

That's what the trans-vag ultrasound, internal exam, and urine test at the ob/gyn's office confirmed.

The hardest, most ironic thing?  The last time I was in that building was the day I had the ultrasound at the RE's office when we saw LO's heartbeat for the first time.  That was a good memory.  Today, not so much.

Guess it's time to stuff the genie of hope and wanting back into his damn bottle and re-set the clock on getting myself over the dream of having more than one child.

Monday Update

Bought the wal-mart version of the FRER.

Another faint line. But visible.


Should have spent the money and gone name brand digital.


Fuck.  How do I do this possibly pregnant thing without multiple betas and lots of hand-holding from medical staff?!

I guess it's time to let DH know that infertility isn't a fool-proof means of birth control.

Perhaps I Should Just Buy One Already? (edited)

You guys...

Talk me down.

I'm officially late.  If you go by the fact that every damn one of my last cycles have been 27 days or less, I'm officially later.

Hope yes, but also there's a feeling of  'oh, crap' how would we deal with this?

My primary thought: Housing logistics...there are "officially" six bedrooms in the house, 1 is ours, 1 is LO's with adjoining bath, 2 are guest rooms (important so both sides of the family can visit at once), 1 is the playroom, and 1 is a workout room.  The other closest bedroom is currently a guest room. Gah - this kept me up for way too many hours the other night.

Of course, the other thought is hello peri-menopause which is it's own set of crap.

Haven't mentioned it to DH and I don't have a HPT in the house.

I guess I'm really hoping that I'm just having an odd extended cycle. I've got my annual scheduled with a new OB/GYN in a little over a month.  One way or another, I'm guessing we'll have a bit to talk about, huh.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will buy the damn test. Tomorrow is probably when my period will start, too. I'd call it irony but it's already happened too many times before.

Friday Morning Edit: Went by Walgreens to buy a HPT but they were minimum $9 for 1 of the high-end store brand, or 2 basic for $11.  For the store brand! So I went to the Dollar Tree for their version.  Took it when I got home but not sure what the actual result was since it was my first experience with them.  There was a super faint second line - so I'm not sure if it was a + or an evaporation line. I do know my period didn't show just because I bought or took it.  Maybe tomorrow? Or maybe I should just suck up the cost and buy another test if there's no changes in the next few days?

The other irony if I am actually pregnant, is that DH has expressed concerns about adding to the family, and I was well on my way to being okay with just one....sigh.
 

Falling Back Into the Abyss

It's stupid, really.  That's what it is.  How a little comment, even one from your own child who knows no better at her young age (related aside: almost 3, really, how can that be?!) can swing you from feeling okay about the lack of additional children to revisiting the land of "why me, why haven't I had it easy when it comes to procreating?"

More correctly, it feels like schadenfreude.  Here I was recently thinking that one is okay, and questioning my ability to properly parent more than one when on many days I have to give myself a time out instead of LO because she already (remember, not yet 3) has figured out how to precisely push my buttons, especially when I am least expecting it.  And, pow, one discussion about her preschool teacher having a baby in her big tummy but mommy does not pushes me right back into the sadness, frustration, anger and hopelessness of infertility.

What bugs me the most is that not having a second child wasn't a choice I made, but one that has been made for me.  Well, I suppose DH and I could have chosen to go through IVF again or attempt adoption, but to be forced to those decisions because my body, or maybe it's DH given some of the slightly questionable SA reports he had, or both of our bodies aren't cooperating the way they should? I'd much rather be the one making the call on whether or not the girls and boys are allowed to party when we make love.

Eh, I'll climb my way back out eventually, I always do, but for now I think I'll wallow a bit longer in the frustration of why two years of unprotected action has resulted in nothing. (Though, I guess I'd rather have nothing than recurrent pregnancy loss over the same two years.  That has to be worse than nothing.)  Maybe when I go for my yearly physical (not with the ob/gyn) I'll ask if the doctor can add FSH to the bloodwork. Inquiring minds and all that.

That said, once LO starts asking why she doesn't have a brother or sister, or worse, starts asking for a brother or sister, I think it's going to hurt even worse.

I Fall Down & Get Back Up Again

(Ain't Nothin' Going to Keep Me Down)

Every so often my psyche likes to give me a good bitchslap to remind me who is really in charge.  This time it was via a dream, a pre-menstrual crazy-ass dream.

See, I've recently been thinking I'm okay with this only one kid thing.   That despite our life being pretty good how it is, that there are days I want to take LO and give her to the gypsies along with a whole pile of money to make sure they'll keep her (you know, when she's being exceptionally good at being two) and I can't imagine wrangling a second child when one makes me want to scoop out my brains and start singing "la la la I don't care" on a regular basis.  (side note: I'm so not looking forward to the tween/teen years if we are already needing DH to mediate)

DH had a dream a while back that I told him I was pregnant and he whacked my mother across the face with a cookie sheet (or was it a frying pan?) for telling him he wasn't acting excited enough.  He's not an exceptionally big fan of adding to the family right now either. That said, we're not exactly preventing, if counting on being infertile is our birth control plan, you know?

So the point being, I had one of those dreams Saturday night / Sunday morning. The ones where you dream about peeing on a stick (in the dream I pulled one out of my MIL's purse - now there's an interesting side note, yes?) with a positive result.  And then through some miracle of dream-enhanced science we were able to know from some bloodwork (maybe, this part is a little fuzzy) that we were going to have a boy.

Thanks a bunch psyche!  Maybe I'm not as okay with having just one as I thought.  Ah well, Shark Week is due to start soon & that should put an end to it, at least for now.

Addition: Shark week started a day early...of course! A dream like that really is too good to even let me think it might possibly come true, right?!?!

Wondering

Does anyone else feel like a negative pregnancy test is mocking/judging you for even daring to wonder if this might be the month?

Note: Today's test expired in October 2011, and it's still on the early side to test, so who knows what is really going on, but I just had to check for my own peace of mind. That worked, but it left me wondering whether I was the only one with that sort of feeling.

Another thought...the only thing worse than a negative test is a negative test followed by the discovery that your period has started overnight. That just feels like a slap in the face on top of the mockery/judgement from the test.

Applying for Preschool & Other Life Changing Decisions

Wrote the check and dropped it off on Monday for LO to start 2x weekly preschool in the Fall. She's #8 on the list of 9 open spots. Phew. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to those free mornings already. Sure, I may just go to work, but what I can accomplish without her in one morning is approximately equal to 6 mornings with her. So, I may drop my hours again and then I'll have one morning a week to myself! Glee does not even begin to fully express my feelings about this.

Of course, since we are talking about moving, possibly this summer if the stars align, whether she'll actually go or not is questionable, but at least she's on the list!

Yeah, moving. Not on my list of things I really want to contemplate, but the 45 minute one-way commute (when traffic cooperates) is really starting to wear on DH, and in addition to his crazy long hours negatively affects the time we get to spend together and the time he gets to spend with LO both before and after work.

Good news, or bad, I'm not sure, is that our next-door neighbors house is already on the market for less than we'd like to price ours, but our neighbor two doors over on the other side is listed for probably twice what we can get for ours. We haven't talked to any agents yet (to either help us sell our house, or purchase in the new area) since we're still trying to figure out the area into which we'd like to move and whether we have to compromise between decent school systems and proximity to DH's office. (This despite the high likelihood that LO will at least start out in a private school.)

We've been doing a lot of looking at the houses listed on Realtor.com, and there are some certain deal-breakers (a house at the top of our price range should need to have much, if any, work done - especially not painting or ugly wallpaper removal) for both of us, and some things that, even though they bother only one of us, will remove the listing from consideration.

That last bit brings me to the discussion about how I'm trying to see things in our house as a potential buyer would, and frankly, it's a little depressing. We'll have lived here 8 years in March, and there are still areas which need first time attention, and other areas which need attention in a re-do way. I'm thinking the walls and trim need to be repainted at least on the 1st floor, but it seems foolish to spend that kind of money (Believe me, with a 2 story foyer we will be hiring someone. I don't do scaffolding!) if someone who buys it doesn't like the color.

And the clutter, oh God, the ever loving clutter that seems to accumulate overnight and then grows roots where it landed. When I look at pictures, I don't want to see clutter, no one imagines their lives surrounded by clutter: they imagine themselves dressed super-chic, cooking a magnificent dinner in a gourmet kitchen with no mess whatsoever while the children in designer clothing play happily on the floor with educational fair-trade wooden toys or do homework at the breakfast table and an irresistibly handsome husband walks in the door and beams at his exceptional family. That may be over the top, but you get the idea. To be honest, if clutter and mess was an ideal, Pinterest would be a bust!

Another Life Changing Decision hanging out there....trying for #2....still on hold. I still have a feeling that LO should have a sibling, and time is certainly tick-tocking away for me, but that sense of urgency I had six months ago is gone. Maybe my feelings about this will change but for now I'm 100% happy to leave it up to chance if we decide to go that route. DH thinks we will have problems again but is unwilling to pursue help again (our initial efforts seem to have had more of a negative effect on him than I); I'm more optimistic since once my cycles returned post-weaning LO they have been about as regular as I remember from before I started Depo-Provera. So, who knows. Either one of us could be correct, or we could both be. But in any case, we're leaning towards 5 bedroom houses so that there will be more than one guestroom, and still allow LO and any potential sibling their own rooms.

So, that's where things are - yay for preschool and time for myself 2x a week, but boo for the possibility of the prospect of moving (and the likelihood that all the good preschools in our new location have already been filled up by the time we make a decision).

The Christmas Card Hop

Okay, so no hopping, but it sounded good to me in the title.

I'm working on updating the mailing list for the cards, in Excel, yes, so I can be speedy about getting them in the mail once we get either a picture with Santa (the 1st try this year - so ugly it wasn't worth getting even one picture!!!), or decide on an alternate picture option.

And as I was updating addresses and changes to families I realized that, hey, there were 5 new babies last year in my circle of friends and family. Three years ago that would have depressed me.

But since Little One surprised us and since we're not currently trying...I'm okay with that. That said, if it happens again next year and we're trying (that's a discussion for January) without successes, I might find it a tad more depressing.

I'll try to get back here again before the 25th, but if I don't manage it:

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

May your nights be silent and the calories of the season stay off your hips.

One Point to the Kinder Gentler Side

I'm just going to let it out here - the Duggars! #20? Really? After the issues with the last one, you think this pregnancy is going to be better?

Jeez.

Of course, this comes on top of today's Mississippi personhood initiative vote. What do you want to bet that the Duggars are all for that?

The evil part of me really wants one or more of their daughters/daughters-in-law to have fertility issues, and then perhaps they might understand that their procreative abilities don't bring joy to everyone. But no, even then they probably wouldn't get it. God's will covers a whole crap-load of willful ignorance.

The kinder gentler part of me, well, hell, she's being suppressed by the evil part of me, but if she wasn't I suppose she'd be more understanding. The evil part of me doesn't get it, but then I don't understand why anyone thinks they should have the right to tell me what I can and can't do with my body. And with that admission, the kinder gentler part of me emerges victorious to remind me of the little fact that by that thinking, I really can't say anything about the Duggar's choices. Damn it.

What I can say is that I'm tired of them making a big production about every freaking pregnancy. So they can get pregnant, stay pregnant and pop out healthy(ish) live babies. So can every 6th person (using the 1 in 7 metric). I do hope this pregnancy goes the same, but if not, I hope God's will comforts them because I sure won't.

Musings on Clutter (Updated)

In the fridge - expired medications from the last IVF cycle (2009).

In the freezer - bags of breastmilk, also expired.

In the pantry/trash - cans of soup. (Potato cheese broccoli from 2010 anyone?)

In my mind - residual sadness we didn't have an oops, residual tiredness thanks to a rude 4:45 awakening Sunday AM, the hope that my actual birthday* brings a SD(+?) card for my new camera & frustration that digital cameras don't include very much memory thus requiring removable memory so I can't play around with it too much just yet.

In the rest of my house - piles of papers on almost every flat surface to deal with "later", placed out of the way of Little One's sticky little fingers, with "later" never seeming to arrive. Or when "later" does finally arrive they are replaced as quickly as the prior ones departed.

It's a rainy yukky day and if Little One didn't have music class we wouldn't be leaving the house. When we return, I will find the energy to make cookies. Homemade cookies always make a day better! As do lap snuggles from the more anti-social of our two kitties.

And yet one more thing: Turns out one of the other moms in our music class went to the same college, in the same department, was only a year ahead of me, and her third is the same age as Little One. That stupid residual jealousy still crops up and bites me when I least expect it!


*One that feels bigger to me than some, as those ending in 5 or 0 can.

Questionable Cycles - The Results

For those playing along at home, I managed to use up one of the remaining HPT's this AM.

So negative there wasn't even an evaporation line along the positive indicator.

(I did dream on Sunday night/Monday morning that the test would be negative. After the dreams I had that Little One would arrive early and this dream, I'm starting to wonder...)

At the same time there was some light pink discharge which has yet to expand into darker territory.

WTF body, wtf?

I have to admit that despite all of the potential negatives to a positive, I'm disappointed. And frustrated.

And, less importantly but still true, annoyed because now I can't explain the last couple of pounds I've mysteriously put back on as anything but poor food and exercise choices.

I guess DH and I should talk about this tonight.

Questionable Cycles (Updated)

Since I don't wish to share this with the wider world, lets just keep this between us (online) friends, okay?

When my period returned after Little One self-weaned, my first few cycles were spot on (no pun intended) 28 days. Last Monday was day #28. I don't like myself on BCP, so DH and I have been consistently using condoms for every episode of (ahem) relations, none of which have appeared to fail at any time. (Do I really need to say that DH is the only one I've been with?)

So, the question is, do I POAS Monday AM since I'm going on a week overdue, or do I keep waiting it out? Edit: Make that Tuesday since Little One woke up early while DH was still in the bathroom. Does it make me a bad wife for not discussing this with him, or practical for not making it an issue until it needs to be?

Whether the results are positive or negative there are plenty of reasons to freak out. I mean really, after all the trouble we went through to conceive Little One how ironic would it be to be in the small % of those who use condoms correctly and still get pregnant? And DH really isn't up to having a 2nd child right now*. On the other hand, negative could mean that my body is starting down the road to cessation of reproductive ability so ... that would just plain suck.

It's not like I'd be going out to buy some new since I still have two left from a three pack (the first was Little One's positive), and they do expire in October. Throwing them away with pee on them isn't much different from tossing them unused, right? Right?

Oh Lordy. I never thought that the possibility could be so stressful.


*We are to re-discuss in December/January. Insert a tome of various concerns and worries in this spot. Gah.

A Year Ago...

On the morning of December 15th, 2009 I shakily handed DH a freshly peed upon pregnancy test and asked "Does this say what I think it says..." At which point he looked at it, and asked me back, "What is it supposed to look like?" And thus began the adventure which lasted 7 1/2 months instead of 9.

(In looking for posts on my thoughts following that day, I found this quote from the Jan. 21st post regarding my first OB office visit. "I'm not sure I want to drive forty-five minutes to an hour to a hospital when I'm in labor." Oh the irony! But my instincts were right - I DIDN'T want to drive that long while in labor. Good thing it was only like 30-35 minutes instead, right?)

One thing I have to admit, the extra drugs from that cycle - Menopur, Bravelle, and Lupron - are still sitting on the bottom shelf of my refrigerator. I COULDN'T get rid of them while I was pregnant. First, because of the awful thought that it might not last and then I would have them for another cycle, saving us $. And later, because, well, superstition kicked in. If I got rid of them, something bad might happen. Same goes for all the extra supplies from that and previous cycles. They are still sitting, along with a half-filled sharps container, in our bathroom closet. It's like a junkies dream supply cache. I know eventually I will have to toss them all, or, better yet, pass the supplies along to someone who can use them, but I'm not ready just yet. (Of course, the question remains whether we are going to go for number two or not, and if so, whether sooner or later; so....they might be sticking around for a while longer. Unless, you know, we just relax. Hah.)

I'm not usually a reflective person - just not my style - but this fall and early-winter have found me thinking more than usual about the prior year. Where I was in a cycle, what drugs I was on. The ups and downs were more so than any other year we had been trying. The fall started with, after so many failed cycles, finally getting a positive. But, whoops, it didn't advance past the first beta. Then a different chemical cocktail with which to convince my body to produce eggs in the multiples. Which it failed spectacularly to do, canceling the cycle. (We were at Lowe's when we got that call. I was skulking in the aisles around the bathroom since DH was, ahem, using the facilities, and made the snap decision without him to not undertake one more certain to be negative IUI.) Which brings us back to the first sentence of this post.

BUT even on the worst days I know I would do it all over again. Every shot, every blood draw (even the ones at 7AM on a Saturday or Sunday morning), every invasive procedure, and each and every failed cycle. She's worth it.

Weekend Followup & Little One Stats

Well, thanks for the good wishes you all. The weekend wasn't the total disaster I thought it would be. The BIL was pretty quiet and didn't raise any ruckus with us. And while DH was playing intermediary with his parents and thought he was just on the phone with his dad, his mom got to hear that she drives him crazy too. (I think the saying is that eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves?)

Anyway, things have settled back down for now, as far as I know. But who knows what tomorrow, or even this evening, may bring...

~~~~~~~~

The craziness of the weekend totally overshadowed Little One's 4 month doctors visit on Thursday in which it was revealed that she was 25" tall and thus in the 72% for height based on age. WTF? How did she get so big? Wasn't it just yesterday she fit comfortably from head to toe on my thighs when I was sitting? For weight, 14 1/2 pounds put her in the 64%, and her little peanut of a head moved from 0.5% to 33% at 16". So all very good improvements, but pretty phenomenal progress for one starting out under the curve entirely!

Of course, the height does explain why some of her (3-)6 month clothing already seems too short even though she's got more than enough room through the middle.

Oh, and not to brag (too much), but I swear cute is going to be her first word since she hears it so much when I take her with me shopping or on other errands. Good golly gracious how I love her!

Today I picked out a "Thank You" card to send to the RE and his nurses. It's something I've been thinking about since she was 3 months old, and with it being Thanksgiving next week (already?) it just seemed like the appropriate time to express our gratitude for their efforts, kindnesses and hope on our behalf - as well as a good time to send of a picture of Little One (the little failed cycle that did!).

IF Ambush?

Mic's post on September 1st over at IF Crossroads was titled "IF where you least expect it." What I thought it was going to be about was not what it was about, but what it was about is not relevant to what I want to write about. (Do you follow?)

What I thought it was going to be about was how infertility references can ambush you in pop culture. For example, there have been a couple movies recently which made noise across the IF blogosphere, to be specific: "UP" and "Julie and Julia."

As I was only on the fringes of the extensive commentary on both of those movies, neither of which I have seen, they seemed to have only a passing, decidedly implied reference to IF. So, after watching it, you could say I was a bit surprised at not remembering reading about the strong IF theme within "Did You Hear About the Morgans?"

I dunno, maybe I was tardy to class or skipped school that day and missed the commotion? Anyone?

So, there DH and I were, prepared to watch a Hugh Grant rom-com and wham! hello! infertility references out the wazoo! DH and I looked at each other as references started hitting closer and closer to home - and the movie got less and less funny and a little too real. Of course, thankfully, with Sarah Jessica Parker having had her own publicly acknowledged fertility and surrogacy issues the approach never seemed to slip into stereotypes, well, at least until the end (which I had some issues with...see below for spoiler details). In my opinion, there was a perfectly reasonable point at which the movie could have ended without veering into stereotypical cliches and fanciful timelines - but it didn't, to my regret.

And because it didn't, instead of leaving me laughing or satisfied with a standard rom-com happy ending, I found myself expressing my frustration to DH who could only agree with me and frankly, left me feeling a bit unsatisfied. Like going to a nice restaurant expecting a regularly sized meal but being served haute cuisine portions so you have to stop at a drive-through on the way home to actually get something to fill you up.

Have you seen the movie? What was your impression?







~~~Spoiler Alert: Don't read the following paragraph unless you have (a) already seen the movie, or (b) don't mind knowing the ending before you watch a movie~~~

During the movie it is disclosed that SJP's character had contacted an adoption agency two months before the events of the movie transpired. At the end of the movie, there's a screen flash indicating 6 months have passed. And then you see semi-closeups of SJP's character and Hugh Grant's characters leaving a plane arriving from an another country (Asian?) carrying an adopted infant. It's my impression based on what I have read online and elsewhere that 8 months from application to being able to bring a child home is an exceedingly unrealistic time frame for an international adoption. Then, just to hammer it home, you finally see a full length shot of SJP and whoops! she's pregnant thanks to a bout of make-up sex earlier in the movie.

Bad taste, meet mouth.

Reuse to Reduce

Three injection based IUI's and three injection based IVF medication cycles add up to quite a few boxes of refrigerated drugs being shipped via FedEx.

And in those boxes with the drugs were always 2-3, if not 4-5 reusable freezer packs. (Along with Styrofoam liners, hazmat boxes, needles, and so on and so forth.)

While the boxes got recycled, the Styrofoam liners were tossed, and the freezer packs went directly into the freezer. Since then, they have been actually quite useful in our cooler when traveling to various locations since they are small enough to fit between items and thin enough to fit on top of items and so on.

This week I discovered another use.

Wrapped in a dishtowel, one of the freezer packs makes an excellent coolant for my overfilled ankle and aggravated shin. If nothing else, the coolness feels really good, but I do think it helps to reduce the swelling (and related shin pain thanks to walking funny due to the swelling)!

So there you have it: reusing to reduce.

I've been shot!

Twice.

And I paid for the privilege.


Guess that means that it was the flu and H1N1 shots and not gun-shots, huh?

It's something I've put off, well, since the fall. Always with a good excuse: I don't want to do it when I'm medicating, I don't want to do it during the two week wait, and so on and so on. But now that I'm honest to God pregnant, DH has been on me about getting it taken care of, and I had told him I would do it yesterday, but couldn't thanks to a short work-day because of taking my time getting into work due to our mini-blizzard of the morning. He was kind enough to give me a pass for one day, but I knew I was just going to hear more about it until I took care of it.

So I adjusted my big-girl panties just before lunch and called a place near my office which administers immunizations and such for international travel, but which I was recently reminded also does the flu shots, and the nice nurse there was able to fit me in right away, so off I went.

Turns out that after doing cycles and cycles of injectables, getting the flu shots(!) really wasn't that bad. Or maybe it's just because the nurse has had so much practice...their clinic (of sorts) has the William & Mary student health immunization contract, so she's done literally thousands of these shots just this year alone. And she's been giving shots for 30 years, so...loads of experience.

She was also very informative about making sure DH has had his TDAP (tetanus/diphtheria/pertussis) shot before the baby arrives (I apparently get one as a going away present before I leave the hospital regardless of how recently I have had one*) as pertussis in adults is becoming more common, and that he, I and the grandparents (and anyone else who may have regular contact with the baby) get next years flu shots as soon as they come out in September. And as a final bit of information she wanted me to be aware that there was an alternate immunization schedule for babies & children - definitely promoting the immunizations but on a slower track. I'll keep that in mind to follow up on in a few months when I stop obsessing over cribs and start thinking about pediatricians. Oy!





*I believe it was December 2006. or 2005. It was before I started blogging.

You really want the story? Okay. Consider my arm twisted... but I'm warning you, it's not for the faint of stomach.




I nipped myself with pruning clippers while putting lights on one of the Japanese maples in front of our house. I went to hold a branch and apparently my finger got in the way. Blood. Lots of blood. Almost passing out at home, getting calmed down enough for DH to drive me to a Doc-In-The-Box (DITB) for treatment. Nurse trying to figure out how to both rinse and put pressure on a cut on the inner side of a finger. Back to the blood. Telling the Doc in a panicked voice that he needed to get my feet up. Doc putting me off. Doc learning his lesson about not listening to me. They got a exam room that smelled of vomit - I got to leave with my finger quickly super-glued together and a shirt covered in vomit, and now a cute little scar on my finger. DH laughed at both me and the Doc. It was special. The end.