5 Years

Can you believe LO turned 5 ten days ago? Me neither!

It seems like it was both forever and not that long ago that I was despairing that IVF was never going to work. And yet, here I am with a 5 year old and a 7 month old.

LO is starting kindergarten in the fall; we chose to keep her in the private kindergarten at the preschool she's been attending to allow her a bit longer in a smaller class of 12-16 instead of 26-28 in the local public school. Come September she will move from the pre-K class to the kindergarten class - a change in building and schedule. Instead of dropping her off any time before 9, drop off will be at 9, and pickup will move from 12:30-1 to some time between 3 and 4 (I need to look that up). It will be interesting to see how she reacts to the longer days. And by interesting I mostly mean that I think it's going to be a rough transition.

I've had LO in swimming lessons since April. She had a couple months of once weekly private lessons followed by two sessions of 3x a week group lessons. The first focused on familiarity with the freestyle stroke, water safety and fun things like how to dive to retrieve things from the bottom of the pool. The group lessons have been more intensive on freestyle stroke, breathing and endurance. Next year we plan to join the neighborhood pool so she can/will be on the swim team.

There has been a huge increase in attitude and sass over the past few months. I am not a fan. Things like repeating what we've said in a bratty voice, blowing small raspberries when we ask her to do things, blatant disobedience in doing exactly what we've just told her specifically not to do. Boundary pushing at its finest, and no shame in being reprimanded for her negative actions or pride in being praised for the good ones. It's exasperating!

But then she'll do something helpful without being asked like pick up a toy LT's thrown or clear her plate and cup after dinner and it gives me hope that something is getting through even if we don't always see it.

DH has really stepped up on doing things for and with LO since LT was born. He takes care of breakfast and getting her dressed if I've set out her clothes the night before, and I've recently stepped back from bedtime in an attempt to get LT to bed earlier. I miss singing LO to sleep but it's really going much smoother to divide and conquer since they both go to bed around the same time.  Unfortunately since most of my time is wrapped up with LT during the day thanks to her continued lack of napping anywhere but on me and now crawling everywhere I feel like most of the time I spend with LO is filled with my fussing at her for one thing or another which makes it much harder for me to see the good things going on. Attention one way or another, I'd prefer to give it for good stuff though, and try to recognize it when I see it.

We had two parties for LO - one for family, at home, and the second for friends at Monkey Joe's (a indoor facility similar to Chuck E Cheese except with lots of inflated bounce structures instead of games). For the family party I made a strawberry cake per LO's request instead of the usual carrot cake. The icing alone takes a pound of butter, but is the perfect accompaniment to the cake. The friends party was the biggest yet with over a dozen attendees. Not sure if it was the location or my managing to get the invites out six weeks in advance which helped! Everyone seemed to have a good time, even the boy who lost his shit at having to leave. Whoops!

I [heart] my broken children. (edited because Blogger hates me)

What the fuck does that mean?

It was a sticker on the back of a mini-van with at least one other sticker on it: NICU Mom.

I saw the "NICU Mom" sticker first and since I've been there myself (no, not for months or years on end, but did my time none-the-less) it caught my attention.  Not quite a warm and fuzzy reaction, but still a feeling of comradery, mutual survival, and so forth (along with thinking it must have been a long stay to commemorate in that way).

And then, then I saw the sticker with "I [heart] my broken children" and I almost literally heard the record player in my head screech into dead quiet. I fail to understand calling your children broken in the public domain.  Perhaps uttered in the darkness of the blackest night when the world feels heaviest upon your shoulders but to put it out there for all, including your children, to see?  I fail to even come close to comprehending how that could ever ever ever be considered okay.
 
Why not take responsibility for that where it lies: your broken body screwed up your children.  Uncharitable, I know.

More charitably, I can only hope it is meant to be a joke, a poor joke that in the end isn't very funny to those who only see the potential for hurt.

Can someone please explain...because I just don't get it.

Irene Recap

We survived. Minimal landscaping damage. A bit of water damage in the house thanks to the blowing rains, but we caught the drips before the puddles could cause further damage, and one of the shutters on Little One's windows blew off. All very annoying but dealable.

Bigger annoyance was the loss of power and the electric company's piss poor ability to project and/or maintain schedule of return. Connected to the loss of power was loss of phone/tv/internet...I didn't know what to do with myself! Luckily I had a 13.5 month old to keep me busy most of the days.

After Isabel (while our house was under construction), we put in the wiring and gas line for a large enough generator to run 50-60% of the house functions. This means if we watch circuits, the upstairs AC can run, the refrigerator and freezer circuits are powered and other things like lights and the hot water heater can be used. So, despite the loss of power, we weren't exactly roughing it from Saturday approx. 1:30pm to Wednesday approx. 7:30pm.

The biggest, most horrible thing: the house on the Outer Banks where we were to be vacationing next week was damaged enough by flooding that we will not be able to stay there. Not horribly, all very fixable, but things like the water heater and possibly HVAC system need to be replaced and that's not going to happen by this weekend. Not to mention the debris/dirt/ remaining standing water filling the yard.

So we are a bit adrift about what we will do instead. Since DH is at the point where he needs to get away and relax or explode, I'd like to prevent that. Unfortunately his analytical engineer mind isn't so good about going with the flow which makes last-minute alternate plans a hard thing to enjoy. And he has certain ideas about what he will and will not do, along with the part of him that doesn't want to spend the money. Trying to figure this out is a real JOY. ::eyes roll so hard they're going to stick that way::

If anyone has any suggestions for last minute but ultimately relaxing (do nothing) destinations, I gladly welcome them!!!

Silly Deer, It Isn't THAT kind of bed!

This little fellow (horn buds) casually crossed our back yard, hopped up into the bed, munched on a leaf or twenty, and decided he'd found a comfortable place to rest. Never mind that he was less than a foot away from our basement window (to the left). Perhaps he was a peeping deer?

I've Given In

(two posts in one day? It's been a long long time since that's happened!)

What I really want is an Alice, Mr. Belvedere, or Rosie (the robot). What I'm going to settle for...

...someone, or a company, who doesn't charge an arm and a leg to clean the house every two weeks.

I am finally willing to admit that I fail as the "perfect" housewife. But I come from a line of imperfect housewives - both my grandmother and mother had housekeepers along the way.

And we are lucky to be able to afford the help.

But I still can't help but wonder what that says about me to others that I am willing to admit that I can't do it all?

Another Weekend, Another Snow Storm

It seems that El Nino has struck again, creating a pattern of weekend storms with a following milder mid-week weather event...at least if you can count last weekend, this weekend, and possibly next weekend as a pattern.

Knowing what the forecast was calling for, I kept an eye out and left work this afternoon when the snow started to stick to the ground. The snow lasted until about 10 minutes after I got home and is now moved through a mix to what appears to be rain. Blegh.

Speaking of the drive home - I think I've mentioned I take the interstate to and from work as it is the most direct and quickest route - anyway, traffic was moving steady at around 70 (except for those few deluded people who think going slower than the prevailing speed is safer. Yeah. I don't understand it myself, it just seems more like a screaming expression of desire to be rear-ended but whatever, it's their vehicle) and in deference to the weather I was leaving a good 2-3 car lengths between me and the car I was following at the speed of traffic. I know, I know, that should be standard driving practice, but around here leaving that much room is generally an open invitation for drivers in the other lane to cut in, so 1-1.5 car lengths is generally accepted as standard in good weather.

Well, apparently even though I was going with the speed of traffic, it wasn't good enough for a couple of SUV and pickup truck drivers behind me who thought I should be riding the bumper of the vehicle (vee-HICK-el) in front of me, and expressed that by coming within a car length of the back of my vehicle. Is it wrong of me to take satisfaction in the fact that when they tried to pass me they ended up stuck in the slower lane? It's all about Karma, baby.

As you can guess, I got home just fine, and now that I'm in the house, the likelihood that I will emerge again until Monday (or Tuesday morning depending on how the storm progresses) is slim to none. The newspapers can rot at the end of the driveway for all I care. There's not enough in them to make the trip outside worth it, especially when I'm wearing my oh-so-comfy-but-not-terribly-warm and waist non-restricting yoga pants.

I hope you all have an enjoyable weekend, however you plan to spend it!

Perspective Check

Yesterday morning I put together a 'woe is me' post guaranteed to cut my readership to nothing. Oh the drama, the pain, the overwhelming horribleness of it all. Ad nauseum. What I wrote WAS truly horrible, so bad that even in my state of upset I couldn't bear to post it.

In the meantime, I decided that rather than continue to spend time in a negative round of navel gazing and increasing funk, it might be a good idea to get out of the office and have lunch with a couple of friends. So I emailed a couple of women I eat lunch with a couple times a quarter to see if they were interested - even mentioning a restaurant I know one particularly likes as an incentive.

There was no response from either before I got hungry, so I ended up going out to grab something myself. This didn't particularly surprise me as one has a bad habit of not responding to emails and I had used her home email address so I knew it was a crap shoot whether she would check that account before lunch or even that week. The other I used her work email, but she has a hell-bitch of a boss, so I figured she just couldn't respond for some reason.

When I returned from lunch, I had an email from the one I wasn't expecting to respond that the other had been in an accident over the weekend and was in the hospital. Then she called me, and accident was an understatement. Our mutual friend had been thrown from a horse and had internal injuries requiring multiple surgeries. She will probably remain in the hospital for a good week or two, perhaps more.

Suddenly what I was moaning about* didn't seem so bad. I hate that it took serious injury to a friend to put things into perspective, and I'm trying to not forget that lesson and sink back into a fugue of self-centered crap.

~~~~~

DH and I met with the RE and his staff about the IVF process this morning. More on that later.

~~~~~



*Grossly Edited Summary: Ignoring feelings about IVF leads to ugly cry over something totally unrelated, and cry hangover the following morning. There's more, but that's the gist.

Grace

You may be aware that I am not a graceful person. Given the chance to trip, run into something or otherwise chance injuring myself, the odds are good that I will do so.

(And now you are wondering how I manage to ski downhill without finding every slick spot and tree, aren't you? That's okay, I wonder that myself.)

This weekend I did something related to yard work for the first time. Something I had not been allowed to do growing up, but had always wanted to do. Furthermore, something I had expected DH to do as part of his outside duties but which he had not done for longer than I would have liked.

It's not cutting the grass. I've done that both on my parents yard with their now dearly departed old Snapper (I loved that lawnmower) and with a self-propelled push mower on our yard. DH stays on top of that job pretty well using the riding mower we bought after DH took over mowing the yard. (Go figure.)

But it was something involving a power tool.

A power tool I had taken the initiative to purchase a few years back when the issue of the particular duty first raised its head.

(Has there been enough build up? I could drag it out further if you really wanted me to...)




Uncle! My arm has been twisted enough.

I used a electric hedge clipper for the first time ever. And wow, what a rush! What was taking me roughly FOREVER to accomplish with a pair of hedge shears, took approximately .005 seconds with the power tool.

Sure the job wasn't as perfect, but what did I care? The bushes look okay from the street which is what really counts, and I was playing instead of working. (Lest I make it sound like there were a lot of bushes to take care of, there weren't. Only six total and I did four one day and 2 the next. There are more to face in the fall when they aren't blooming and the bee's and wasps aren't partying hearty with the flowers.) Even more amazing, I had so much fun with the clippers that I DID NOT EVEN MIND CLEANING UP THE CLIPPINGS.

That's in all caps because it is a BIG DEAL. As a kid it fell to me to do the clean up as my parents trimmed the bushes and I loathed it. Most likely it was one of the main reasons I hated yard work growing up. But facing cleanup as part of the job, when I got to participate in the fun, that wasn't so bad. Even, dare I say it, somewhat satisfying.

I even managed to not injure myself while using said tool. So there's one element of grace. The other was the realization that using the electric clipper and then cleaning up my own mess was pretty adult of me - even if no one else recognized it, I felt it. And it felt pretty great.

Un-Summoned

Hey! How are you? I'm typing this at work, and not at the courthouse, so you know what that means...I was not needed to sit in a box and determine the validity of a claim of innocence by someone who would most likely fall under the "People Are Stupid" portion of my header.

It's been a while since I've been so happy about not being needed.

AND, DH also received word this week that the trial he had been brought into had been settled, so neither one of us has to deal with the courts.

Yippee!

Have a wonderful weekend - I know mine is off to a great start.

Summons(es)

There were two on the door when I got home last night.

One for me. One for DH.

For me, Jury Duty for the first time ever. Let me repeat that: First time ever. Supposedly a one day? Trial date two weeks from today. I'm really hoping I don't get picked; I'd rather be at work. In HS my AP government class participated in a mock trial at the Marine Corps JAG (Judge Advocate General) School. It wasn't a far trip - the JAG school is located in my hometown. My one brilliant contribution was a snide comment about one the attorney's (prosecuting?) ugly tie that had distracted me from paying attention to the trial. I was so cool. (In my own mind at least.)

DH has been named in a trial I can't talk about. I can tell you the issue in question was not his fault. It still sucks though. He's got to be in court in a different county/town for at least part of the week after I have to be at the courthouse for jury duty.

I think we're about to learn more about the justice system than either of is really wanted to know!

Get Out of My Way

That's what I was muttering to myself all the way to work this morning thanks to some drivers who shouldn't have been on the interstate.

Ski resorts used to have limits on who could go down certain, expert level terrain. Things like age, length of skis, even skiing ability were taken into consideration before each skier was allowed or denied access to the harder terrain. Nowadays, anyone regardless of equipment or ability, are allowed to go down the same slopes.

I'm thinking we need to revive the old ways, and place limits such as vehicle ability and driving skills on highways and interstates. Simply enough, if you don't have a certain sticker on your license plate, you're not allowed on highways or interstates.

This would certainly take care of school buses and any other vehicles whose speed is limited to a maximum less than the speed limit (although school buses would probably be exempt. dammit.). Also, recently licensed drivers and those whose fear and tentativeness when interstate driving creates more of a problem for others on the road.

To be clear: if you want to go the speed limit, that's fine and dandy. Not to mention, legal. Just stay to the right and don't block the left lane because you want to go a mile per hour faster than the person in front of you. But to those drivers who deliberately drive below the speed limit - there are other roads heading the same direction and based on your speed, you'll get there just as fast on them as the interstate.

Of course, this plan would take funds the state (and nation) currently lack, so I guess it will just have to remain in my brain; along with the LED signs with scrolling text that should be installed on every car with phrases like "Thank you for letting me over." & "Who the %&$*#@ taught you to drive." & "Get the %&$*#@ out of my way." You know. Simple phrases that show politeness to the millions of idiots out there on the roads.

The ups and downs of a Sunday afternoon.

DH and I went to see Hellboy II yesterday afternoon. DH had bought a DVD which had a coupon for $ off a ticket to one of four movies (Hellboy, Wanted, the newest Hulk, and the newest Mummy), so we decided to take advantage of it and avoid the heat.

For once, we left the house right when we said we were going to. Typically we are 5-10 minutes behind. Things were looking pretty good. We crossed the bridge over the interstate and traffic looked clear, so we decided to go into town that way. Yeah. Mistake. Someone had had an accident about 10 miles up which closed both lanes. And then other people had an accident because of the back up. As you can imagine, the stress level in the car just ratcheted right on up. "We're going to be late to the movie" kept running through my mind. I'm sure worse was running through DH's.

After a few tense minutes (longer than it would have taken if traffic was normal, but not hellishly long in reality) we were able to take the next exit onto an alternate route and were able to make up some of the time lost on the interstate. We even hit a green light right where we needed to to avoid a long light sequence.

We got to the shopping center with the theater and found a fairly close parking spot. By this time the start time had passed but we were bound and determined to watch the movie since we'd gotten this far. No line at the ticket window, but the young girls didn't know how to ring the coupon, so again we wasted precious minutes waiting for someone who did know. (Don't get me started on how when the local chain was bought out the purchasing chain upped the price of tickets and cut off matinée prices at 3pm vs. 5pm) We hustled ourselves back to the theater and walked in to the end of the animated Star Wars movie preview and a theater with plenty of seating and the AC set at 65(!?) degrees. Phew. I'm very glad I took a jacket because I was downright chilly by the time the movie ended, but would have been a popsicle without it.

The movie itself was OK. Like many movies, the sequel did not live up to the original. I could have waited for it to come out on DVD or on-demand, but since we only paid for one ticket (and a little for the other as the coupon didn't cover the full non-matinée ticket price), I'm not going to regret the extra we spent to watch it sooner. Our trip home wasn't bad, we went the back way and were able to see that the interstate was still backed up from the accident. What a nightmare!

When we got home DH got the idea to make margarita's. Frozen, as usual. Well, the first batch he accidentally grabbed a can of lemonade instead of limeade. Tasted pretty good, but not like a true margarita. So he goes to make a batch with limeade, and got it mostly blended when 2 of the 6 grips on the blender base (attached to the motor) broke off with no warning. He was able to fudge it enough to get the batch finished, but I think unless the good folks at KitchenAid are willing to warranty a 6 year old blender, I'm going to be shopping for a new one. Any recommendations (on the off chance that KitchenAid won't come through for me)?

This, that, and the other thing with some random asides.

Bullet points today because none of the below qualify for a post of their own (but together they make one long-ass post):

• For those of you who own stock: Just say no to the In-Bev buyout of Anheuser Busch. Living in an area with 4 of the largest employers (Anheuser Busch brewery, Busch Gardens - Europe, Water Country USA, and Kingsmill Resort) being related to the Busch family of companies, this buyout thing is a little stressful since there has been no indication of how long before the 3 non-essential entities (ie: breweries are considered essential) will be sold off by In-Bev in order to raise $ for the buyout of Anheuser Busch (this makes no sense to me: either you have the money up front in cash or via financing, or you don't). (If you want, boycott In-Bev's products, and continue to buy Busch products. That would be really super.)
  
• Work is dead slow. It's become the norm for me to have no more than a handful of calls each day. Unfortunately this means the percentage of solicitation calls to "real" calls is way up. I'm getting a little fed up with the guys (it's always a pushy guy) who tell me they've talked to my boss about x, y, or z. He's never in the office to take your call, and if you don't tell me what you are calling regarding (it's a personal financial matter doesn't cut it buddy), he's not going to take your call. And don't hang up on me when I tell you he's not available, I'm supposed to hang up on you!
  
• Though to liven things up, I did had one person I had hung up on call me back to tell me it's rude to hang up on people and then hang up on me. That was mature!
• But back to the dead slow work - we've got two custom houses in production, and one spec. After they are completed, we have no work. That scares me a bit because I'm not sure I'm going to be able to find another job in this economy, much less one I am so happy with. (If I get pregnant it won't be an issue because I'm not planning to work after we have kid(s), but until that happens, I'm just trying to enjoy all the time I can spend on the internet!)
  
• DH's new semen analysis came back with some improvement in morphology (up to 4% from 3%), but slight drops in the other categories. The RE doesn't seem concerned, so continue to keep your fingers crossed that I don't have to fight my fear of needles. Though I am thinking hypnosis might be a good idea to lessen my fear of needles, blood, pain, and maybe snakes too while I'm at it.
• Did I mention my unhealthy fear of snakes? Yeah. Even a picture of a itty bitty harmless garden snake gives me the creeps. I'm all for banning snake images from newspapers and widely read magazines. Just thinking about it sends a shiver down my back.
• We drove 8 hours total this weekend for a 3 hour event in Maryland outside Baltimore Saturday night. We took the Mini to show off to family up there who also have one, and since my FIL rode back with us (it's a long story related to my BIL's ongoing heath issues) I made the return trip in the back seat. I think it was actually a little more comfortable than the front seat, though we did take more breaks on the return than on the trip north.
• We spent the night in one of those "suite" hotels. I thought the bed was comfortable, DH said it would have been better with a pillow-top, at which point I had to point out that it did have a pillow-top. So yeah, we look for different things in a mattress. Our mattress at home is a pillow-top Kingsdown, and it's still holding up after 5 years. When we went to the store they had a computer aided system which would calculate the best mattress for you. Of course, DH and I had different results, but were able to find one that felt good to both of us without having to try out every mattress in the store! And it says something that we are still very happy with it 5 years out. This is my 2nd Kingsdown mattress. The first is still in use and still comfortable, but is a double so serves as a guest bed. I won't tell you these are cheap mattresses and box springs, but they are well worth the additional $ in years of use and in improved sleep.
  

I feel better for sharing all that.

And in other news...

The city is trying to spruce up some of the main corridor leading to William & Mary and Colonial Williamsburg. It's an area which has been neglected in the recent boom of construction, and has some older, low-cost commercial buildings which apparently don't fit the image the city wants to present*. One of the tenants is "Monica: Spiritual Reader & Advisor" She was quoted in this mornings' paper:

"Reached Thursday, Monica, who is believed to be the only working psychic in the Historic Triangle, said she had no idea plans were under way to demolish her business. "This is all news to me," said Monica, who declined to give her last name."

DH's response: She must not be a very good psychic then.



*Like the new Walgreen's on a near block is "historic". But it brings the city income. That's all that seems to matter right now.

An open letter to politicians:

I don't care who started it, all of this negative campaigning has to stop. Please, for the love of Christ(or the Flying Spaghetti Monster), take a lesson from Mr. Smith, and be idealistic about these local, state, and national governments of ours.

I don't really care what your opinion is of what the other person did or plans to do; tell me about you, what are you going to do differently, what is your vision of an ideal government? Tell me that you are going to look to the future and not let the issues of the present undermine what needs to be done to make sure that we have a future. And that it is a good future. Let us know that you care about not only our area, but the state or the nation, whichever level you are hoping to attain.

Tell me that you plan to work for the best for everyone, not just those who throw $$$ in your lap to support various interest groups. If I am your constituent, I should be your main interest group, but if I'm not, let me know why, in clear language. Be honest.

I'm just saying, when you sponsor an ad in any media, I want to read/hear your name, not your opponent(s). Because if all I hear or see are names, I may just vote for the one I hear the most, and that may not be you.

Is that what you really want?

******* ******* ******* *******
Has everyone else had to endure months of negative campaigns? I about got to the point where I wanted to hide under a rock, stick my fingers in my ears, and hum quietly to myself whenever one came on the television.

Denied Expectations (or why I bought way too much candy!)

EDITED...

# of Extra-Large bags of candy purchased in anticipation of Halloween: (3) 4

# of Extra-Large bags of candy opened: (0) 1

Amount of candy actually put in bowl: 1-Extra-Large and 1 1/2-(Medium) Large bags

# of Trick-or-Treaters: 12

# of anticipated Trick-or-Treaters: >12

# of Extra-Large bags of candy remaining: 3

Amount of candy remaining in bowl: TOO FREAKING MUCH!!!

Apparently I grossly overestimated the amount of candy we needed.

What do you think the chances are that Wal-Mart will take the extra bags back, even with a receipt?



On the upside, I was the happiest this year with our decorations that I've been since we moved in: I found a almost cat-like gargoyle at Big Lots for cheap and sat it on top of a upside down flowerpot, and then put a set of luminaries that we got for very cheap a few years back and which spell out "boo" (or "obo" or "oob") in front of that on one side of the door. On the other side of the door, I left the planter which always lives there and added one pumpkin and one jack-o-lantern which had the best face I've ever carved (thanks to DH for drawing the face for me to follow, I got stuck on the same design every year and can't move past it). These were huge pumpkins - a good 16-18" tall, and proportionately round. And of course, I bought them on Monday at Wal-Mart for less than $6 for both. DH asked where I'd gotten them because they were so large, he thought I would have paid a bundle for them. We had talked about going out to our local pumpkin patch, but life got in the way. Hopefully we can manage to do that once we have kids, it always looks like such a fun time and so cute to see the little kids in the pumpkin fields.

What about you, how was the turn-out in your neighborhoods, and how well did you guess how much candy you would need?

Say It Isn't So!

DH called me today (10/9/07) mid-afternoon from Home Depot.

(This is not a usual occurrence, today he had to make some site visits elsewhere in the state, and was finished early enough to have time to pick up some supplies before going home to work in the yard. Thanks dog for digging holes in the grass! grr. but enough of that, back to the topic at hand.)

"They're putting out Christmas stuff."

^^^bang^^^

That's the sound of my head exploding from too early holiday-itis.

Am I a Scrooge to ask that retailers wait until Halloween is over to start with the Christmas displays?

Our Weekend - in Bullet Points

It was a good weekend, but not one I am aglow over, thus the summary of events:

• We went to my hometown and home of my husband's college Alma Mater for our first football game of the year (we have season tickets but were unable to attend the first two home games). There were some great people seated around us, who cheered the team and booed the refs, and enjoyed the game. And then there were these two guys, the kind who take credit for every play personally and taunt the other team and their fans. I really wanted to crack their heads together and tell them to chill out. But I refrained. Our team basically won the game in the first 9 minutes of the first half, and then surprisingly managed to hold on to their lead (despite some truly awful plays) for the rest of the game.
  
• DH purchased a new pair of ski boots. He hasn't gotten a new pair since before we started dating, so this was long overdue. The good thing is that they were last years (or the year before, not sure which) model, so they only cost about a third of the list price for this years model. He will also be getting new skis, but hasn't ordered them yet.
  
• DH also purchased a gadget to allow him to use his MP3 player in his car. Apparently the multiple channel options on XM are not enough for him. Tease. He hasn't used his MP3 player at all, and has wanted to, so if this works, I'm ok with it. This could be considered a late birthday present for him. (he does not have a iPod, so finding this gadget took visiting a special store)
  
• We had lunch at Cheeseburger in Paradise. I wasn't disappointed because I wasn't expecting anything, but service was S-L-O-W. Much slower than I would have anticipated based on how very empty the restaurant appeared. And maybe time slowed down for me because I was so hungry that my hands were shaking. My burger was good but not phenomenal (I only eat burgers once in a blue moon) and DH's meal upset his stomach (but that could just be him). The one interesting thing, the fries had the normal salt and pepper but also seemed to have something sweet on them just enough for me to notice, but not overwhelming. I might go back for the fries.
• We spent the night with my parents, who also dog sat for us while we were at the game. They only have twin beds (except for theirs), which cause problems because they are too short and hard for my husband and now too narrow for me. I feel like I'm going to fall off in the middle of the night, and really hate that the whole bed moves when I turn over. Spoiled by our home mattress much, are we?
• Sunday morning, we celebrated my birthday (early) with my parents. They did good - most everything was from my list, except for a pack of personalized note cards with a light sage green border and ink for the monogram and return address on the envelopes. Very cool - can you tell I like sage green? DH and I will celebrate on the actual day - he's playing in our neighbor's golf tournament and I'm planning to do nothing more strenuous than read a book or three. I already have my present from DH arrived in August - the dearly beloved Dell Laptop!
  
• Lunch with the parents at Panera and then back home in time to put together a dish and relax a little bit before a neighborhood pot-luck. Our neighborhood has a very divided age profile, with only a few scattered between: retired with grown kids, or 30's+ with young kids. We are the only younger couple (may be the youngest) without kids. I have a hard time socializing, I don't feel like I fit in with the other young couples, but I don't have as much in common with the older women either, though I know more of them from participating in Book Club and Bunco.
• We found out that DH's cousin's wife is pregnant. She's one of the DIL's of the man for whom the party with the belly dancer was held. And at the time I had wondered if she might be pregnant because she didn't have an alcoholic drink, which I hadn't seen her do without at any prior parties (not like she was a lush, just that she would have a drink or two). But I hadn't asked her...so there we are. Of DH's generation on that side of his family we are the last (long married - another cousin was married this weekend) couple to not have kids. DH was cute, he led into telling me by saying something like "I don't know how to tell you this..." to which I replied "Who's pregnant?"
  

So that's what we did. Now I'm going to send telepathic messages to my reproductive system to get it's stuff together, I'm tired of waiting!

U2 can Stand (and Be Proud) in the Place Where You Are

I've got a question for you! No, not advice, though if you have any I'll certainly take it into consideration.

The question is: Do you compare yourself professionally and/or personally to anyone (family members - close and distant, people you know - well and not so well, people you don't know personally, celebrities) and ask yourself "why am I not advanced to an equivalent position to that person?" Or even "that person is x years younger than me and look where they are now, what am I doing or have I done wrong?!" and then feel like a failure?

For me this question and response mostly arises when I flip through the back pages of my college's alumni magazine. I look through the "Class Notes" for my class and the years closely before and following, to see if there are any updates on anyone I used to know in college but have since lost touch with. More often than not I don't see that much about people I know. There is always more about some I knew of...so and so is a VP for a national company, so and so has been living in the rain forests of Borneo building bridges, so and so has gotten an MBA/MD/PhD, etc., or so and so has learned how to make rainbows and unicorns flow from their belly button, blah, blah, blah.

Or more insidiously, I am talking to my mother and she mentions that she has heard from a family member that has a new job, or a raise, or something important sounding going on.

Deep down I know I am happy with my life: I love my husband, my job, my house, the area where we live. I'm not just putting on a facade while hoping that something will miraculously change. But still, that little worm of doubt creeps in every so often and whispers in my ear - why haven't you gotten farther in your career, why aren't you doing something that makes other people envious, what's wrong with you? I'm the oldest cousin, aren't I supposed to be the most successful one?

Of course I listen, it's rude not to. And then I answer that voice and say "Hey, who are you to say that my life isn't great? I leave the house and get home at a reasonable hour every work day, I spend my winter weekends at a ski resort and lots of summer weekends at the beach, I'm not living in a big city and dealing with traffic congestion or living in a small apartment in a high-rise building, or living in primitive conditions without running water or electricity, I don't spend my time at work in constant fear that my position is going to be eliminated or consolidated or otherwise compromised. I think I've got things pretty damn good. Yeah maybe these people are making more money or getting more esteemed, but there are some pretty bad things they have to deal with that I don't. And why put additional money into higher education if I can do my job just fine without it and want to be a stay at home mom when the time comes? Please go away and let me enjoy my life."

And the nice thing is, that little worm of doubt listens to me too, and does as I ask, at least until the next time an opportunity arises for a whisper in my ear.

I'm not saying I have the answer for everyone, but it works for me. But wouldn't it be ironic if my life caused envy from someone whose life made me question mine?

How do you deal with these questions? And what prompts them?

Area 51?!?!

Ok, this has nothing to do with aliens, and everything to do with this being my 51st post.

Go me!

So, vacation went well. I was able to relax and be lazy enough to go through about 45lbs of the 50lbs of books I picked up at the library before we left. We enjoyed dinner at Mako Mike's and caught a mild/moderately bad case of sunburn each. The weather was beautiful and the in-laws left Tuesday so we had a few days alone to just hang out together. And my DH shot an 88 at the country club golf course after not having picked up his clubs since Memorial Day weekend! That's really incredible and I am so proud of him! I went along as cart candy - just there to look pretty and cheer him (and my in-laws) on.

The only thing to mar the time we spent away was ... my screwed up body. Thank goodness I had the foresight to pack some supplies, but I didn't really think I was going to need them until the end of the week. This is not a good trend: 4 weeks, 2 weeks, 1 week ... and yet the past few times have been relatively pain and other symptom free and only lasting a couple days each. But, on our vacation it spelled the end of my anticipated multiple romantic evenings, swimsuit wearing, etc.


In other, more uplifting news, tonight is the first meeting of the neighborhood Book Club for this year (Sept-June). Somehow I got suckered into leading the group when the last person stepped down a couple years ago. I know I'm going to be exhausted by the time this night is over. Being in front of a group and keeping everything orderly is really stressful for me. But it's not all bad - I've met a group of women (men are welcome, but don't seem to be interested) with some amazing life stories.

If anyone is interested in the books we are reading leave a note in the comments or send me an email (in my profile, over there, to the right). The books have been a great mix every year I have been with the group.

And thanks gals for all of your supportive comments on my "Just wanted to share..." post. It was really nice to come home to those.