Selfish Mindfulness

Is there such a term? Because when I think about my resolutions for 2012 that's what comes to mind. If you are wondering, they are:

• Better meal planning.
• More effort into doing things for me.

They both benefit me, so there's the selfish part, but they both benefit the family in the global sense, so that's some mindfulness. Maybe.

Honestly, the first is really important because if I don't get things going late afternoon, the adults don't eat until 9pm instead of shortly after Little One goes to bed, which stinks when a good bedtime for us is around 10:30 or earlier. And the second is important because I need to remember to take care of myself so I can continue to take care of everyone else.

Doing things for me seems much more manageable as a goal than saying I want to exercise X times per Y ... or anything else.

Top on my list? Arranging an appointment with the best brow people in town for my first ever brow shaping. I figure since it's one of the first things I notice and don't like about myself in pictures and has been for a while, it's time to do something about it!

Also in my list is getting in shape for our island vacation in April. Those cellulite pockets left over from Little One (and thanks to age) aren't going to disappear on their own!

One Point to the Kinder Gentler Side

I'm just going to let it out here - the Duggars! #20? Really? After the issues with the last one, you think this pregnancy is going to be better?

Jeez.

Of course, this comes on top of today's Mississippi personhood initiative vote. What do you want to bet that the Duggars are all for that?

The evil part of me really wants one or more of their daughters/daughters-in-law to have fertility issues, and then perhaps they might understand that their procreative abilities don't bring joy to everyone. But no, even then they probably wouldn't get it. God's will covers a whole crap-load of willful ignorance.

The kinder gentler part of me, well, hell, she's being suppressed by the evil part of me, but if she wasn't I suppose she'd be more understanding. The evil part of me doesn't get it, but then I don't understand why anyone thinks they should have the right to tell me what I can and can't do with my body. And with that admission, the kinder gentler part of me emerges victorious to remind me of the little fact that by that thinking, I really can't say anything about the Duggar's choices. Damn it.

What I can say is that I'm tired of them making a big production about every freaking pregnancy. So they can get pregnant, stay pregnant and pop out healthy(ish) live babies. So can every 6th person (using the 1 in 7 metric). I do hope this pregnancy goes the same, but if not, I hope God's will comforts them because I sure won't.

IF Ambush?

Mic's post on September 1st over at IF Crossroads was titled "IF where you least expect it." What I thought it was going to be about was not what it was about, but what it was about is not relevant to what I want to write about. (Do you follow?)

What I thought it was going to be about was how infertility references can ambush you in pop culture. For example, there have been a couple movies recently which made noise across the IF blogosphere, to be specific: "UP" and "Julie and Julia."

As I was only on the fringes of the extensive commentary on both of those movies, neither of which I have seen, they seemed to have only a passing, decidedly implied reference to IF. So, after watching it, you could say I was a bit surprised at not remembering reading about the strong IF theme within "Did You Hear About the Morgans?"

I dunno, maybe I was tardy to class or skipped school that day and missed the commotion? Anyone?

So, there DH and I were, prepared to watch a Hugh Grant rom-com and wham! hello! infertility references out the wazoo! DH and I looked at each other as references started hitting closer and closer to home - and the movie got less and less funny and a little too real. Of course, thankfully, with Sarah Jessica Parker having had her own publicly acknowledged fertility and surrogacy issues the approach never seemed to slip into stereotypes, well, at least until the end (which I had some issues with...see below for spoiler details). In my opinion, there was a perfectly reasonable point at which the movie could have ended without veering into stereotypical cliches and fanciful timelines - but it didn't, to my regret.

And because it didn't, instead of leaving me laughing or satisfied with a standard rom-com happy ending, I found myself expressing my frustration to DH who could only agree with me and frankly, left me feeling a bit unsatisfied. Like going to a nice restaurant expecting a regularly sized meal but being served haute cuisine portions so you have to stop at a drive-through on the way home to actually get something to fill you up.

Have you seen the movie? What was your impression?







~~~Spoiler Alert: Don't read the following paragraph unless you have (a) already seen the movie, or (b) don't mind knowing the ending before you watch a movie~~~

During the movie it is disclosed that SJP's character had contacted an adoption agency two months before the events of the movie transpired. At the end of the movie, there's a screen flash indicating 6 months have passed. And then you see semi-closeups of SJP's character and Hugh Grant's characters leaving a plane arriving from an another country (Asian?) carrying an adopted infant. It's my impression based on what I have read online and elsewhere that 8 months from application to being able to bring a child home is an exceedingly unrealistic time frame for an international adoption. Then, just to hammer it home, you finally see a full length shot of SJP and whoops! she's pregnant thanks to a bout of make-up sex earlier in the movie.

Bad taste, meet mouth.

Time Warp

I offered to help my grandmother order something online using her computer on Friday.

What I didn't realize is that she still uses AOL dial-up. It was like going back in time!

Netflix Miss

If you happen to like Ryan Reynolds*, Justin Long and Dane Cook and think a movie with all three couldn't be anything but funny, well, I'm afraid you'd be wrong. DH and I attempted to watch Waiting last night and only made it to about 15 minutes in. Perhaps if I'd had a drink or two it would have been funnier? I dunno, and with no way to test that theory, back to Netflix it went this morning.

But it could be our sense of humor which is off since we haven't been able to sit through any of Will Ferrell's movies except Stranger Than Fiction. Just.Can't.Do.It. I know, there are people who die laughing at Mr. Ferrell, I'm just not one of them.



*I definitely have a thing for Ryan Reynolds. Actually it's pretty much all about his abs. Especially those down near his waistband. Drool. This picture is from Blade: Trinity.

Pregnancy Humor

I got an email from Victoria's Secret - the subject of which was:

"Get Ready for Your All New Body..."

Even without looking at the email, somehow I don't think they are promoting nursing bras or belly bands, do you?

It's Applicable All Year Round

I finally started using the mp3 player I got for last year's birthday after DH got me a cassette converter so I can play it in the car for this year's birthday.

Now that we are coming up on Thanksgiving, I'm switching over to Christmas music, including the album from the Barenaked Ladies, "Barenaked for the Holidays". I've had this album for a couple of years, and have liked it, but today driving to and from the RE's appointment one of the songs made me tear up not once, but twice. More than any song I've heard recently it hit me close to my tired and frozen infertile heart.

The song is "Hannukah Blessings" and since I can't seem to find the video online, here are the lyrics:

How Lucky are we that we have lights so we can see

Although the day is done

What a miracle that a spark lifts these candles out of the dark

Every evening, one by one

Until the end of hanukkah, of hanukkah.


With the jingle bells and the toys

And the TV shows and noise

It's easy to forget

At the end of the day

Our whole family will say

These words for Hanukkah


Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu

B'mitz'votav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.

Light the candles for Hanukkah, for Hanukkah

We remember how Maccabees

Fought so all of us could be free

And so we celebrate on this festival of the lights

There's a joyful time every night

But we illuminate the candles of Hanukkah, of Hanukkah

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam she'asa niseem

La'avoteinu bayamim haheim baz'man hazeh.

Hanukkah...

Hanukkah...

If you haven't heard the song I recommend you search it out since the tune is just as nice as the lyrics.

The Calm Before the Storm

I'm feeling very "eh" this week. Despite having spent Labor Day weekend very lazily and rainy. Despite scheduling the frozen (blast) embryo transfer for next Friday. Despite celebrating DH's birthday yesterday (Wednesday) with a movie in the theater (G.I. Joe*) and a decent dinner out.

I'm sure next week will bring more excitement and trepidation, but for now, I'm content to be "eh" and to take some acetaminophen to kill some of the pain in my neck/upper back from sleeping on it funny last night.



*There seemed to be some slow spots, but overall it was pretty good. DH came out more enthused than I did - but perhaps that's because he was more into the G.I. Joe cartoons than I was. I'm sure there will be a sequel, so there's that to look forward to.

How I dropped my IQ without even trying...

Last night DH and I watched "The House Bunny."

It was about as funny as you might expect. And cringe-inducing as well.

nerd stereotypes = check
bitchy sorority girls = check
back-stabbing so-called friends = check
caterpillar into butterfly metamorphosis = check
ending with an after-school-special type teaching moment = check

But that's sort of what you expect from a Happy Madison production (though I was surprised to that neither Rob Schneider or Adam Sandler showed up in any of the scenes).

Sunday At The Gardens

Turns out that a theme park and my mother-in-law wasn't actually a bad combination after all. Even wearing shoes I wouldn't consider practical for a day of walking and roller coasters, she didn't have any problems and ended up riding more coasters than I did.

We ended up going Sunday, and the weather was beautiful, but with graduations and Mother's Day, the park was most definitely the least crowded I've ever seen. I don't think we had to wait for more than two or three car-full's any of the coasters I rode. The one coaster I didn't ride (had to get rid of the iced tea I'd drunk with lunch, and the line was really long), seemed like it was running fewer circuits than it could normally handle. Compare that to hour plus waits as a standard for each ride, and it was still pretty fantastic.

The stroller brigades and families that were there didn't upset me; I was too busy enjoying myself. I even rode the Griffon - after swearing that I never ever (ever!) wanted to do so. The view from the top of the highest hill was amazing, but I can't tell you much else about the coaster. I don't do well with almost vertical drops, so I spent the majority of the rest of the ride with my eyes shut. The automatic picture that's taken even had my eyes shut and my mouth open in a primal fear scream. It was almost worth buying for the uncanny resemblance to Munch's Scream. Almost.

We ended the day with a funnel cake for DH and I, and the in-laws, and ice cream for DH's brother and friend who had joined us.

Despite my fears it turned out to be a pretty nice day. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed riding coasters. As state residents, purchase of a one-day admission allows us to return to the park as many times as we would like through the beginning of September for free, but daily parking is extra (though there is a discount for purchase online).

Not sure if we are going to take advantage of that or not, though it would be a shame to waste the opportunity. Guess some of the decision depends on the result of IVF #1. Meeting with the RE tomorrow to get things started on that. Whee!

Dem Bones

****Potential Spoiler Alert****

Do not continue reading if you are one of those people who hate to know a plot to a movie or TV show before you watch it.











Last night DH and I watched the most recent episode of Bones.

For those not familiar with the show, the two main characters are Booth, a male FBI agent, and Bones, a very rational/empirical minded female scientist. They are partners in solving murder cases (I think I missed the episode explaining why they work together, but just go with it), particularly cases in which very little immediately obvious evidence remains to point to the killer. Their relationship is a bit convoluted, but there are definitely strong personal feelings, if suppressed, on at least one side.

In this particular episode Bones decides she wants a baby and wants Booth to be the sperm donor - but not the "old fashioned way." Our familiarity with the high-tech procedures she was asking him to undergo was cause for more reaction, squirming (DH) and laughter (me), than we may have had prior to entering the halls of infertility.

I don't know why anyone would want to voluntarily undergo what we have, but hey, it's TV, right? And it was nice to see the need at least referenced, even if obliquely, and not have just another "oops" pregnancy.

In the end, for reasons not pertinent to this overview, she decided not to go forward with the procedure, but I still think it's going to happen, one way, or another. I just hope the writers don't "jump the shark" in trying to make it happen. Season finale is next week so we will see.

Top Ten.

In no particular order, and at current age, except where noted:

1. David Borneaz.
2. Jason Stathan.
3. Vin Diesel.
4. Brendan Fraser.
5. Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
6. Mike Rowe.
7. Harrison Ford (Star Wars).
   
8. Val Kilmer (The Saint).
9. Jude Law.
10. Hugh Grant.
    

Feel free to discuss, dismiss or add to...

Jude Law in The Holiday = Not mangy.

Date Night - On the Cheap (To Us)

As I've mentioned, we don't go out very often. Even less now that DH and I work in opposite directions from home. It doesn't help that the closest restaurants aren't all that close.

So, last night was a rare exception. We not only went out to dinner, we also caught a movie. In the opposite order.

And it only cost us $7.00

Yes, you read that correctly - the two of us saw a first run movie and we ate dinner at a sit-down restaurant for all of $7 out of pocket.

How you ask?

Simple - combine one free ticket offer (thanks to a movie set we might have purchased anyway), with a hoarded gift certificate to the movie theatre, and we ended up $1 richer.

Dinner was thanks to another gift certificate that was enough to not only cover the entire bill but also a bit of the tip - the remainder of which was $8.00.

So that's how we had a very nice evening out for less than I spent at lunch yesterday.

Outstanding.


(For those who are interested, we saw "Underworld: Rise of The Lycans" and ate dinner at Outback. Both of which rate an 'eh' from me, so I'm just as happy to have only spent a tenth of the actual cost.)

Thoughts on an Open Letter

As I was eating my breakfast this morning, the Today show played a tape of the Bush daughters reading the letter they had written to the Obama girls.

It didn't give me chills, but almost, when I heard it. Reading it here did bring tears to my eyes.

I had to wonder how much of the advice in the letter the Obama girls will understand at their ages - and how much they will look back and realize they missed out on.

It was a strong reminder that the President, whoever he may be to the nation and world, is still a person and big part of that person is being someone's Daddy. It's a position that started before the Presidency and will continue long after the White House is vacated for the next occupant.

While no Daddies are perfect, many look that way to their kids. I hope that those who want to find fault with Obama remember that truth, and in expressing their dissatisfaction keep the personal issues away from the political.

What's With Brad Pitt's Upper Lip?

I watched part of his interview with Ann Curry on the Today show this morning but had to leave for work before the above question was answered.

And what I want to know is why Angie let that caterpillar grow on his upper lip?


Because, while I don't entirely agree with the falling for Angelina while still married to Jen, I think he's a pretty decent person (or maybe I've just fallen for the spin), only now he looks like I imagine a 70's porn star would. That's just disturbing, and not at all hot.


Image from People.com

Cultural References - A Product of Our Times?

(jeez, that title reads like a dissertation paper or class essay)

For this month's book club meeting we read Little Heathens... by Mildred Armstrong Kalish.

Or I should say, we were supposed to read it. I'm still only half-way through, but planning to finish it.

BUT, the point is that part of our discussions touched upon sayings that arose from popular culture references...

Who's heard the one about something being more than Carter had pills? Here's the answer on where that came from.

(This saying was a favorite of my father's in reference to my "notions" about food, clothes, activities...and it wasn't until I was much older that I realized that it was a pop-culture reference from an earlier time and not a referral to our neighbor who happened coincidentally to have the first name of Carter.)

And as we got into bed that night, I told one of our cats to "Move over A_", and without missing a beat DH called the cat bacon. Of course, I was referencing "Move over bacon! Here comes SizzleLean"*

I'm sure that reference is going to be as mystifying to our kids as the Carter's pills reference was to me. But it made me wonder what other phrases are still out there that refer to an extinct product.

What do you have?


*Note that my memory of the wording is not the same as on this particular website. Perhaps it was just another variation on the commercial. In any case, that's how I use it.

While ripping CD's...

Scene: Switching discs from Cher to Ricky Martin.

Realization: I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body!



(Yes, I realize this is fully stereotypical and I apologize to anyone who is offended.)

Time Sucks For Your Viewing Pleasure

Recently we've watched some new movies at home. Sure, we have HBO, STARZ, and On-Demand, as well as a membership at a local video store, but we haven't watched much new for a long time. We tend to watch a movie over and over until we can no longer stand it - and there just hasn't been much new released (on DVD or in the theatre) recently that thrilled us.

A couple weeks back we watched "August Rush". I really need to see it again as I spent half the movie in anticipation of the end I knew was coming.. That anticipation totally destroyed my attention to details of the story, and seriously annoyed DH. But I loved the soundtrack, so that's on my birthday list.

This week we watched "No Reservations". I watched it twice, having missed the first 20 minutes and a fairly significant plot point on the first viewing. Both times it made me cry. I enjoyed the movie, but I'm not going to run out and get it on DVD. DH and I both caught repeats of music from other soundtracks of movies we love - "French Kiss" and "The Cutting Edge."

We've watched "The Holiday" and "Music & Lyrics" through HBO/STARZ at least once a week for the past few months. We also have both on DVD. Other movies we've watched (repeatedly) in the past six months or less: Zoom, Sky High, Out Cold, Accepted, The Chronicles of Riddick, Good Advice, Galaxy Quest, America's Sweethearts, Dave, The American President...those are the ones that come easily to mind. I'm sure there are still several others out there I will remember later.

In case you can't tell, DH is a closet fan of romantic comedies. Of course, he still enjoys a good action movie and so do I, but the majority of what we watch are considered "girly" movies. But then, I'm not a fan of horror/suspense, so he doesn't get to watch those when I'm around unless I go to another room. I can't help it that I'm very susceptible to the suggestions and images and have terrible nightmares afterwards. It's not an adrenaline rush I find enjoyable.

~~~~

What movies have you watched, or are you watching repeatedly?

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And in a different genre: So, is anyone else watching "Eureka" Tuesday nights on the SciFi channel? We really enjoy it. Enough so that DH paused his current computer game when we realized that it had already started this week. It's not often that we make the effort to keep up with a tv show, but Eureka is different. In some ways it reminds me of Northern Exposure: a quirky, isolated town in which something strange is always going on. I don't know that I'd want to live in a town like it, but it's sure fun to watch!

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This weekend we may go to a winery west of Richmond for a Mini rally. $10 each isn't bad for a day's entertainment, especially when it includes a glass, food, goodie bag & music.

Or we may just stay home and veg (and maybe do a little bit around the house) - always a valid option!

The ups and downs of a Sunday afternoon.

DH and I went to see Hellboy II yesterday afternoon. DH had bought a DVD which had a coupon for $ off a ticket to one of four movies (Hellboy, Wanted, the newest Hulk, and the newest Mummy), so we decided to take advantage of it and avoid the heat.

For once, we left the house right when we said we were going to. Typically we are 5-10 minutes behind. Things were looking pretty good. We crossed the bridge over the interstate and traffic looked clear, so we decided to go into town that way. Yeah. Mistake. Someone had had an accident about 10 miles up which closed both lanes. And then other people had an accident because of the back up. As you can imagine, the stress level in the car just ratcheted right on up. "We're going to be late to the movie" kept running through my mind. I'm sure worse was running through DH's.

After a few tense minutes (longer than it would have taken if traffic was normal, but not hellishly long in reality) we were able to take the next exit onto an alternate route and were able to make up some of the time lost on the interstate. We even hit a green light right where we needed to to avoid a long light sequence.

We got to the shopping center with the theater and found a fairly close parking spot. By this time the start time had passed but we were bound and determined to watch the movie since we'd gotten this far. No line at the ticket window, but the young girls didn't know how to ring the coupon, so again we wasted precious minutes waiting for someone who did know. (Don't get me started on how when the local chain was bought out the purchasing chain upped the price of tickets and cut off matinée prices at 3pm vs. 5pm) We hustled ourselves back to the theater and walked in to the end of the animated Star Wars movie preview and a theater with plenty of seating and the AC set at 65(!?) degrees. Phew. I'm very glad I took a jacket because I was downright chilly by the time the movie ended, but would have been a popsicle without it.

The movie itself was OK. Like many movies, the sequel did not live up to the original. I could have waited for it to come out on DVD or on-demand, but since we only paid for one ticket (and a little for the other as the coupon didn't cover the full non-matinée ticket price), I'm not going to regret the extra we spent to watch it sooner. Our trip home wasn't bad, we went the back way and were able to see that the interstate was still backed up from the accident. What a nightmare!

When we got home DH got the idea to make margarita's. Frozen, as usual. Well, the first batch he accidentally grabbed a can of lemonade instead of limeade. Tasted pretty good, but not like a true margarita. So he goes to make a batch with limeade, and got it mostly blended when 2 of the 6 grips on the blender base (attached to the motor) broke off with no warning. He was able to fudge it enough to get the batch finished, but I think unless the good folks at KitchenAid are willing to warranty a 6 year old blender, I'm going to be shopping for a new one. Any recommendations (on the off chance that KitchenAid won't come through for me)?

A Hair Off

About 8-9 months ago I switched hair dressers. My hair seems to need a change of cut/style on a regular basis to keep looking its best. Don't get me wrong, I loved the vibe at my old salon, but I knew a little too much about my hair dresser and yet I wasn't close enough to say "you brought this on yourself." I got tired of biting my tongue when he complained about the issues in his life.

So I followed one of DH's then coworkers to her salon and hair dresser. And so far I have no complaints. (Any issues I've brought on myself...for future reference, never go to an unknown hair dresser, even if they are at the same salon, right before an important event if you want your hair to look good for more than the night. Trust me on this.) In fact, I would say the woman I'm going to now is pretty fabulous. Listens to my hair, listens to me, but puts more weight on the hair. I trust her to not cut my hair in a style that's not going to work for my hair or lifestyle, even if I really love the look.

Yesterday evening she did it again. Took my hair from limp and pathetic layers (she cut them, but they didn't work the way she & I thought) to a tres chic blunt cut bob which should grow out clean.

Of course, now that my hair looks really good, I'm noticing that my eyebrows could stand some shaping. I've always gone for the more natural/thicker Brooke Shields look, but I'm thinking it's time to go a little sleeker/more polished. Now I just need to find someone I trust to help with the transformation, because if left to my own plucking, there's no telling how bad it could get.

So, let me pick your brains... How did you transform your brows from full to sleek? Go to a salon? Trust a friend? DIY? Help a not-so-girly-girl out here!