I finally started using the mp3 player I got for last year's birthday after DH got me a cassette converter so I can play it in the car for this year's birthday.
Now that we are coming up on Thanksgiving, I'm switching over to Christmas music, including the album from the Barenaked Ladies, "Barenaked for the Holidays". I've had this album for a couple of years, and have liked it, but today driving to and from the RE's appointment one of the songs made me tear up not once, but twice. More than any song I've heard recently it hit me close to my tired and frozen infertile heart.
The song is "Hannukah Blessings" and since I can't seem to find the video online, here are the lyrics:
How Lucky are we that we have lights so we can see
Although the day is done
What a miracle that a spark lifts these candles out of the dark
Every evening, one by one
Until the end of hanukkah, of hanukkah.
With the jingle bells and the toys
And the TV shows and noise
It's easy to forget
At the end of the day
Our whole family will say
These words for Hanukkah
Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu
B'mitz'votav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.
Light the candles for Hanukkah, for Hanukkah
We remember how Maccabees
Fought so all of us could be free
And so we celebrate on this festival of the lights
There's a joyful time every night
But we illuminate the candles of Hanukkah, of Hanukkah
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam she'asa niseem
La'avoteinu bayamim haheim baz'man hazeh.
Hanukkah...
Hanukkah...
If you haven't heard the song I recommend you search it out since the tune is just as nice as the lyrics.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Turkey Day 2009
So, Thanksgiving plans:
Wednesday morning, I head to a RE appointment which means I won't get to work until after 12; with that, I'm not sure if I'll be able to leave work early so we can pack the truck and try to get a head start on the traffic to we head over to my parents in Charlottesville.
We'll spend the night there, all day Thursday, and Thursday night. Apart from making DH's family recipe for corn pudding (1 can cream corn, 1 can sweetened condensed milk, 2 eggs, 1/4 c. sugar or to taste, mix together well in an 8x8 or 9x9 dish, dot the top with butter, bake @ 350 or whatever you have the oven set on until the top starts to caramelize), I have no direct responsibilities. Of course I'll help out in other ways, but cooking is the least of my worries.
DH is supposed to be up at Wintergreen to help set up the ski swap at 7:30AM Friday morning. (Talk about a Black Friday.) It won't be 7:30 when we get up there, but close to it. Which means leaving my parents house somewhere between 6:30 and 7:00 with all of our stuff packed back up and the dog shoved into the truck.
Tomorrow I find out when I have to be back at the RE's office for the next check, so that will affect whether we have to return Friday night or spend Friday night up at Wintergreen before swinging back by my parent's house to pick up my grandmother on Saturday so she can return home via us. Or get up the crack of dawn Saturday to drive directly to the lab before 8AM.
And I can't wait to figure out how to refrigerate the medication and do my shots while at my parents without exposing what we are going through to my grandmother who has not been told.
Can you tell I'm feeling a bit stressed over this upcoming trip?
If DH hadn't signed up for the ski swap and my mother hadn't already made plans to host Thanksgiving, I'd throw up my hands, proclaim we are staying home, and call Golden Corral for reservations on Thursday.
Wednesday morning, I head to a RE appointment which means I won't get to work until after 12; with that, I'm not sure if I'll be able to leave work early so we can pack the truck and try to get a head start on the traffic to we head over to my parents in Charlottesville.
We'll spend the night there, all day Thursday, and Thursday night. Apart from making DH's family recipe for corn pudding (1 can cream corn, 1 can sweetened condensed milk, 2 eggs, 1/4 c. sugar or to taste, mix together well in an 8x8 or 9x9 dish, dot the top with butter, bake @ 350 or whatever you have the oven set on until the top starts to caramelize), I have no direct responsibilities. Of course I'll help out in other ways, but cooking is the least of my worries.
DH is supposed to be up at Wintergreen to help set up the ski swap at 7:30AM Friday morning. (Talk about a Black Friday.) It won't be 7:30 when we get up there, but close to it. Which means leaving my parents house somewhere between 6:30 and 7:00 with all of our stuff packed back up and the dog shoved into the truck.
Tomorrow I find out when I have to be back at the RE's office for the next check, so that will affect whether we have to return Friday night or spend Friday night up at Wintergreen before swinging back by my parent's house to pick up my grandmother on Saturday so she can return home via us. Or get up the crack of dawn Saturday to drive directly to the lab before 8AM.
And I can't wait to figure out how to refrigerate the medication and do my shots while at my parents without exposing what we are going through to my grandmother who has not been told.
Can you tell I'm feeling a bit stressed over this upcoming trip?
If DH hadn't signed up for the ski swap and my mother hadn't already made plans to host Thanksgiving, I'd throw up my hands, proclaim we are staying home, and call Golden Corral for reservations on Thursday.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Protocol Update
So, I started the .10 of Lupron Friday morning. Easy peasy. (Except for the part where my first shot left a small bruise where the needle hit or nicked a vein. Oh well, it wasn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last.) For the first time, I have spread my supplies outside our bathroom where they have been happily occupying a double handled paper Hallmark Store bag. But with Lupron needing refrigeration, I figured it was easier to have the needles and other supplies in the kitchen so I didn't schlep the vial back and forth, or up and down, morning and night.
Last night was the first Menopur(2)/Bravelle(4) mix. I tried to do the same with it as the Lupron and keep all of the supplies downstairs, but after DH complained for the third time that he didn't have enough light to see properly even with all of the kitchen and breakfast area lights on, and had also managed to spill a small amount of the mix onto the kitchen counter, and since he has always done such a good job of doing the mixing in the bathroom, I decided it was easier for the rest of those shots to just swab myself with alcohol twice and haul the six vials of medication plus the vial of saline upstairs at bedtime. I'm just not patient enough and want to hurry in the mixing, so it's better if he does the work.
I don't remember the Menopur burning when I used it separate from the Follistim (which never burned me), but the Menopur/Bravelle mix wasn't pain-free and I could still see a bit of pink in the area this morning. I think I celebrated the loss of Ganirellix too soon, even though it stung like a bitch and left a huge welt it was only for three days - Bravelle is going to last for at least three times that many days. Tonight I will try icing the area first to see if that helps. Otherwise, I can't really tell any side effects from any of the meds.
Wednesday morning brings a ultrasound appointment with the RE and I'm hoping that I won't have to go back until Sunday even if it means I don't get a good sleep in on any morning. We're currently planning to come home Saturday from our Thanksgiving travels - if needed we could come home Friday for a Saturday morning appointment, but I would prefer to keep our plans in place. There will be more to come on those plans in another post.
Any suggestions on sting reduction? Or mixing of 6 vials?
Last night was the first Menopur(2)/Bravelle(4) mix. I tried to do the same with it as the Lupron and keep all of the supplies downstairs, but after DH complained for the third time that he didn't have enough light to see properly even with all of the kitchen and breakfast area lights on, and had also managed to spill a small amount of the mix onto the kitchen counter, and since he has always done such a good job of doing the mixing in the bathroom, I decided it was easier for the rest of those shots to just swab myself with alcohol twice and haul the six vials of medication plus the vial of saline upstairs at bedtime. I'm just not patient enough and want to hurry in the mixing, so it's better if he does the work.
I don't remember the Menopur burning when I used it separate from the Follistim (which never burned me), but the Menopur/Bravelle mix wasn't pain-free and I could still see a bit of pink in the area this morning. I think I celebrated the loss of Ganirellix too soon, even though it stung like a bitch and left a huge welt it was only for three days - Bravelle is going to last for at least three times that many days. Tonight I will try icing the area first to see if that helps. Otherwise, I can't really tell any side effects from any of the meds.
Wednesday morning brings a ultrasound appointment with the RE and I'm hoping that I won't have to go back until Sunday even if it means I don't get a good sleep in on any morning. We're currently planning to come home Saturday from our Thanksgiving travels - if needed we could come home Friday for a Saturday morning appointment, but I would prefer to keep our plans in place. There will be more to come on those plans in another post.
Any suggestions on sting reduction? Or mixing of 6 vials?
Friday, November 20, 2009
Ups and Downs
Ups:
-first Lupron shot this morning means the cycle is moving along.
-period started this morning right on time.
-SUNSHINE! I feel better today than yesterday. Much less moldy.
-it's Friday!
Downs:
-cramps. Nuff said.
-dog is coming up with new allergy symptoms - $94 this morning to learn that plus update her kennel cough booster.
-the weekend is going to fly by thanks to the list of chores that need to be done.
-it's 70 degrees in Mid-November. My office is an oven thanks to 3 walls of windows.
What do you have?
-first Lupron shot this morning means the cycle is moving along.
-period started this morning right on time.
-SUNSHINE! I feel better today than yesterday. Much less moldy.
-it's Friday!
Downs:
-cramps. Nuff said.
-dog is coming up with new allergy symptoms - $94 this morning to learn that plus update her kennel cough booster.
-the weekend is going to fly by thanks to the list of chores that need to be done.
-it's 70 degrees in Mid-November. My office is an oven thanks to 3 walls of windows.
What do you have?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Announcing A Protocol Change
Lupron Mini-Flare
Anyone, anyone... Bueller?
Anticipating no negative results from today's bloodwork (thanks to a recent seminar advocating checking progesterone and estrogen even with the pill) it looks like I'll probably start twice daily 0.1 unit Lupron on Friday and then add a combined 450 units of Menopur and Bravelle on Sunday. That's 1.5ml of fluid with a total of 6 vials of medication added. Yikes!
On the up side - no welt-inducing Ganirellex will be needed. Yay!
Since I've never done Lupron or Bravelle before, is there anything I need to be aware of as far as possible side effects, etc? If you've done a Mini-Flare after a combination of Follistim/Ovidrel/Menopur have you noticed any difference in quantity/quality of the resulting eggs?
Yet another trial. Hopefully this time there is no error.
Anyone, anyone... Bueller?
Anticipating no negative results from today's bloodwork (thanks to a recent seminar advocating checking progesterone and estrogen even with the pill) it looks like I'll probably start twice daily 0.1 unit Lupron on Friday and then add a combined 450 units of Menopur and Bravelle on Sunday. That's 1.5ml of fluid with a total of 6 vials of medication added. Yikes!
On the up side - no welt-inducing Ganirellex will be needed. Yay!
Since I've never done Lupron or Bravelle before, is there anything I need to be aware of as far as possible side effects, etc? If you've done a Mini-Flare after a combination of Follistim/Ovidrel/Menopur have you noticed any difference in quantity/quality of the resulting eggs?
Yet another trial. Hopefully this time there is no error.
Scary News - Any Connections Who Can Help?
A couple who are very close to my parents were traveling in Israel when he developed a blood clot in his brain. Their travel group left on Sunday, and their daughter is now with them. He is in the neurological ICU at the teaching hospital in Jerusalem, she and their daughter (who is a couple years younger than I) are in a hotel near the hospital.
Do you know anyone in the area who would be willing to be local support during this trying time?
As for other support, please keep this couple in your thoughts or add them to your local prayer group.
I hate to imagine my parents being so sick in this country, much less so far away from home.
Do you know anyone in the area who would be willing to be local support during this trying time?
As for other support, please keep this couple in your thoughts or add them to your local prayer group.
I hate to imagine my parents being so sick in this country, much less so far away from home.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Strange Dreams
I've had some odd dreams in the past week - and I'm not sure why. It's not like I've started taking any new meds that would mess with my brain.
The first and second were on the same night, the third was just last night. In two of the three dreams I was single and making out with / getting involved with a man other than DH. In neither dream was the other person someone I actually know. In the third dream (actually the first of the three) DH and I were throwing a party, which we never do, and so our interactions were limited to party host transactions.
I just wish I understood what my subconscious was trying to get across.
The first and second were on the same night, the third was just last night. In two of the three dreams I was single and making out with / getting involved with a man other than DH. In neither dream was the other person someone I actually know. In the third dream (actually the first of the three) DH and I were throwing a party, which we never do, and so our interactions were limited to party host transactions.
I just wish I understood what my subconscious was trying to get across.
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