U2 can Stand (and Be Proud) in the Place Where You Are

I've got a question for you! No, not advice, though if you have any I'll certainly take it into consideration.

The question is: Do you compare yourself professionally and/or personally to anyone (family members - close and distant, people you know - well and not so well, people you don't know personally, celebrities) and ask yourself "why am I not advanced to an equivalent position to that person?" Or even "that person is x years younger than me and look where they are now, what am I doing or have I done wrong?!" and then feel like a failure?

For me this question and response mostly arises when I flip through the back pages of my college's alumni magazine. I look through the "Class Notes" for my class and the years closely before and following, to see if there are any updates on anyone I used to know in college but have since lost touch with. More often than not I don't see that much about people I know. There is always more about some I knew of...so and so is a VP for a national company, so and so has been living in the rain forests of Borneo building bridges, so and so has gotten an MBA/MD/PhD, etc., or so and so has learned how to make rainbows and unicorns flow from their belly button, blah, blah, blah.

Or more insidiously, I am talking to my mother and she mentions that she has heard from a family member that has a new job, or a raise, or something important sounding going on.

Deep down I know I am happy with my life: I love my husband, my job, my house, the area where we live. I'm not just putting on a facade while hoping that something will miraculously change. But still, that little worm of doubt creeps in every so often and whispers in my ear - why haven't you gotten farther in your career, why aren't you doing something that makes other people envious, what's wrong with you? I'm the oldest cousin, aren't I supposed to be the most successful one?

Of course I listen, it's rude not to. And then I answer that voice and say "Hey, who are you to say that my life isn't great? I leave the house and get home at a reasonable hour every work day, I spend my winter weekends at a ski resort and lots of summer weekends at the beach, I'm not living in a big city and dealing with traffic congestion or living in a small apartment in a high-rise building, or living in primitive conditions without running water or electricity, I don't spend my time at work in constant fear that my position is going to be eliminated or consolidated or otherwise compromised. I think I've got things pretty damn good. Yeah maybe these people are making more money or getting more esteemed, but there are some pretty bad things they have to deal with that I don't. And why put additional money into higher education if I can do my job just fine without it and want to be a stay at home mom when the time comes? Please go away and let me enjoy my life."

And the nice thing is, that little worm of doubt listens to me too, and does as I ask, at least until the next time an opportunity arises for a whisper in my ear.

I'm not saying I have the answer for everyone, but it works for me. But wouldn't it be ironic if my life caused envy from someone whose life made me question mine?

How do you deal with these questions? And what prompts them?