Mid-IVF Status Report

Yesterday morning I went to the RE for a check up / check in / scan of female bits to see how well the medications are working. Even at the regular dose of 450 total units - only 2 decent and 3 small eggs total across both ovaries. Disappointment is not too large a word to express my feelings about this development. There was a pretty good indication that I wouldn't overproduce but I was really hoping for a better result.

I go back in on Sunday for another check and bloodwork***, but with the other RE in the practice as they alternate weekend duties and my RE's weekend was Memorial Day. Hopefully by then the smaller eggs will have caught up with their larger siblings and we'll have more to work with.

At this point, the RE's best guess is that retrieval will be mid-to-late next week and transfer 3-5 days following. My fingers are crossed that I will not be on bed rest for the weekend of the 13-14 of June as we have two events scheduled that weekend that both of us would like to attend, and I don't think DH will attend without me, even though he should be at both considering one is for ski patrol and the other is a surprise party for his father's birthday. (At the appointment the nurse had said she thought the end of next week or early the following week. I called back later to get the RE's opinion.)

I really felt like giving up after my appointment. Driving the hour and a half to work, it felt like the universe had gathered up my hope, nurtured it, and then dropped it on the concrete floor of life and stomped on it, while wearing soccer (football for you non-American's out there) cleats. It's a good thing I didn't have much of importance to deal with at work as my mind really wasn't there for the afternoon.

Today I'm still feeling a bit of a hangover from the emotions of yesterday and I'm wondering where the positive attitude I used to have has gone. It's getting harder and harder for me to find the good - and easier to embrace the negative. I know that hope will pull itself together and start to creep back in, but I'm not really sure that there is much power in positive thinking.






***Don't get me started on the lab only being open from 7AM-8:30AM on the weekends. Or that the RE appointment isn't until 10AM. Let's see, that means I have to leave the house no later than 7:30AM (and most likely earlier) to get the bloodwork done, and then hang around town at least an hour and a half (when no stores are open) until my RE appointment. And you wonder why I'm frustrated.