Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I see no plusses here.


Status: waiting for RE's office to open so I can call and find out where I (we) go from here.

Feeling: disappointed, angry, sad, frustrated.

I really wanted to believe this time would be different.

Maybe I don't believe enough, or think positively enough.

It sure can't be my diet. I haven't had a drink in weeks, not even at the Christmas party I went to with an open bar. I haven't eaten any deli-meat, and I limit myself to one caffeinated beverage a day. There's only so much being good this girl can do without getting positive feedback.

I just want to go back to bed and pretend I didn't pee on that stick first thing this morning.


  1. Oh, honey. I know how hard it is to not see that line and how hard it is not to blame yourself in the process. I also know that you did everything within your power to make this work. Remember that.

    Sending you hugs.

  2. Bah. I'm sorry. BFNs are of the devil.

  3. That is so frustrating, I can't even imagine how sad this must make you. Is this a good excuse to kick back a turkey sandwich topped off with a shot of espresso and a margarita? You could try drowning your sorrows in forbidden foods...?

  4. Thanks for the sympathy & support.

    I have this nagging feeling that my whining about not having a drink in weeks equals my being an alcoholic. But all I really want is the freedom know I can have a drink and choose not to, not necessarily to have one.

    @Erika - I can't even imagine that flavor combination. Perhaps a turkey sandwich with a kaluah/bailey's coffee would work?

  5. You're probably right, I imagine that having an espresso in conjunction with a margarita would be pretty gross. I like your problem-solving abilities, though, because I reckon a kaluah/bailey's coffee would do the trick nicely.

    Also, wanting a drink every now and then does not an alcoholic make.