Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I see no plusses here.

HPT = BFN

Status: waiting for RE's office to open so I can call and find out where I (we) go from here.

Feeling: disappointed, angry, sad, frustrated.

I really wanted to believe this time would be different.

Maybe I don't believe enough, or think positively enough.

It sure can't be my diet. I haven't had a drink in weeks, not even at the Christmas party I went to with an open bar. I haven't eaten any deli-meat, and I limit myself to one caffeinated beverage a day. There's only so much being good this girl can do without getting positive feedback.

I just want to go back to bed and pretend I didn't pee on that stick first thing this morning.

7 comments:

  1. Oh, honey. I know how hard it is to not see that line and how hard it is not to blame yourself in the process. I also know that you did everything within your power to make this work. Remember that.

    Sending you hugs.

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  2. Bah. I'm sorry. BFNs are of the devil.

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  3. That is so frustrating, I can't even imagine how sad this must make you. Is this a good excuse to kick back a turkey sandwich topped off with a shot of espresso and a margarita? You could try drowning your sorrows in forbidden foods...?

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  4. Thanks for the sympathy & support.

    I have this nagging feeling that my whining about not having a drink in weeks equals my being an alcoholic. But all I really want is the freedom know I can have a drink and choose not to, not necessarily to have one.

    @Erika - I can't even imagine that flavor combination. Perhaps a turkey sandwich with a kaluah/bailey's coffee would work?

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  5. You're probably right, I imagine that having an espresso in conjunction with a margarita would be pretty gross. I like your problem-solving abilities, though, because I reckon a kaluah/bailey's coffee would do the trick nicely.

    Also, wanting a drink every now and then does not an alcoholic make.

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