Saturday, April 12, 2014

Forced Unconcern

That's how I'm feeling.  That I'm pretty much forcing myself to assume all is well, and that all will be well until the u/s on May 2nd. It's not like I have much if any control over anything to do with the process.  That's not to say I don't do irregular checks on the girls to see if they are still reactive, or notice that I'm seriously belly bloated by the end of the day.  And I've already had my first crazy pregnancy dream in which I was trying to nurse one of our cats...WTH!?

I did not end up calling the RE's office. I specifically picked my OB/GYN because she does specialize in high-risk pregnancy, and there are a number of doctors in the group, so we'll just roll with that.

When DH and I talk about the possibilities, it's in terms of the practicalities - what kinds of baby things we'll need to get (not much since I've been pathological about keeping all of LO's things and most of the equipment is on the gender neutral side; obviously a boy would mean a 98% new wardrobe, and the majority of my maternity wear was geared toward warmer weather so I'll need to bulk that up for the fall/early winter), any projects we think might need to be completed around the house, the room we'll switch over from guest to nursery, and so forth.

At this point no matter what happens, DH and I are in agreement that this is it: a decision needs to be made and followed through on in regards to permanent birth control. Whether it's him getting snipped (we have not really discussed) or my tubes tied (I refuse to go back on hormonal birth control and have fears that my metal allergy would be triggered by a metal IUD), we will do something.

Keep sending the good vibes our way, please. Still not sure what happened, but maybe we finally relaxed enough? Hah!


  1. Continuing to send you positive thoughts!
    We went through very similar things, and while I'm at 31 weeks, I'm still having panic attacks over all the things that can go wrong.
    Infertility and miscarriage sure can suck the enjoyment out of an otherwise normal pregnancy. >:(

  2. Well, birth control is weird, but I truly hope that you do not have to deal with this crap for a long time, because it sucks, and because being pregnant rigt now is such a wonderful news! I hope, and wish, and pray that everything goes smooth, and nice and easy. May 2nd cannot come soon enough! Dude, I am OVER THE FREAKING MOON HAPPY FOR YOU! And I am sending every positive thought I have, and good, healthy pregnancy vibe and energy, and cross crossables, hoping that you get to have another baby at the end of this journey

  3. Clearly I'm way behind in my blog reading! Wow! So excited for you!!!!!