Wednesday, December 23, 2009

5/6 Update

I find myself in a strange place at what I calculate as the end of the 5th week, start of the 6th.

The home pregnancy test (I only took one.) says I'm pregnant. The Betas (all 3!) say I'm pregnant. And yet. I don't really feel all that different.

I'm not even excited. Wait. That's a lie. But excitement is tempered by knowledge and worries, and the lingering residue from "Holy shit, what have we done?!" I've stopped worrying about the Beta results and have moved on to the ultrasound. Of course, it's all pointless since there is really nothing I can do except keep on doing the good stuff I've been doing and try to avoid any potentially harmful stuff. (Am buying stock in Purell.) Since my RE won't be back in the office until January 7th, putting my ultrasound closer to the start of (again, per my calculations) my 8th week, that's how long that worry is going to be festering at the back of my mind, even as we celebrate Christmas and share the news with our families.

The thing is, despite all of the above confirmations and worry, it just doesn't feel real. My boobies go from being mildly sore to not sore at all so I wonder how much of the sore is actually from the irregular pokes and prods I've been giving them. Last night I took a good forty-five minute / hour nap while Mike Rowe slogged his way through yet more Dirty Jobs, but that's not so unusual for me as I've been known to curl up under the down comforter we keep on the couch, get warm and fall asleep in prior winters and summers, too. Of course, this morning even after the nap and heading to bed at the reasonable hour of 10pm I still feel pretty tired after pushing myself through last-minute gift and grocery shopping yesterday afternoon. I've also been getting up at night to relieve myself which is not a normal activity - but that could be because I'm trying very hard to keep myself hydrated as I'm known to run a little low on fluids and have been feeling odd pains in my lower abdomen and back. I'm also bloated enough to not be able to comfortably button my pants and jeans, though I can get them zipped. Looping a hair elastic through the button hole and around the button takes care of that problem, for now.

In addition to the prenatal vitamins, fish oil, glucosamine & chondroitin, and baby aspirin I take every morning, I'm also on 2x prometrium suppositories, and have started to drink a mug of raspberry leaf tea once every day or so. I'm just glad I backed off on caffeine a while back, because with the tired it would be even harder to give up now.

So that's where I am. Of course, I also feel extremely grateful for this miraculous and very, very unexpected early Christmas present, and am attempting to put the grateful in front of worry and effects.


  1. Don't worry about not really feeling any different yet! I remember feeling that same way, like the minute that test turned positive I should feel different.

    The morning sickness and sore boobs really kicked in for me toward the end of the 6th week, so do your best to just savor the presence of your tiny little sesame-seed-sized passenger and savor the time you have to eat without feeling like you're going to die.

  2. Yes, it's pretty early yet to feel morning sickness, it will probably kick in soon though and you'll wish you felt as good as you do right now. The other things - feeling tired, bloated, getting up to pee in the night, odd pains in belly and back - are all perfectly normal signs of pregnancy. Especially the little quirks and cramps as your lil wonder firmly attaches him or herself to you (literally).

    Can't wait for your ultrasound results, it is amazing to see your lil miracle's heart beat! I am so, so happy for you :)

  3. OK, I am just totally bursting at the seams here!

    I don't know what the hell it is about your blog, but I can't comment on my phone or on my work computer. And this is the first time I've had time to get on here and congratulate you.

    So: FUCK YES! This is exciting! I'm so so so happy for you!

    I totally get where you're coming from. I felt a lot better after seeing the heartbeat. Then, at about 7 weeks, I got totally barfy. Again, I felt a bit better. After my NT Scan I was feeling ready to accept that I was pregnant.

    So basically I think you're normal. And try to enjoy this day, because when it all works out you'll be pretty pissed if you spent it wringing your hands. (I know from experience.)

  4. I never felt one ounce different in the very beginning with either of my pregnancies. So no worries there - not eveyone starts with symptoms right off the bat. In fact, I didn't even have any bloating or tightness in clothing until well into my first trimester with my second pregnancy. Also I had almost no sickness at all. Just some "lower end" complications! (I actually lost 11 pounds the first trimester - food just went right through.)

    Anyhoo - I'm SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!