When first married we decided, with both the blessing of both sets of parents, that we would alternate holidays with our parents...Thanksgiving at one, Christmas at the other, and the following year we'd do the opposite. That way neither family has ever felt like they were being discriminated against, it's just the schedule, and we were saved from having to do lots of driving every holiday to accommodate both families. With both families within a 2 hour drive, it would be doable, but not necessarily enjoyable. Typically we'd schedule a time with the other family to exchange Christmas gifts, usually the following weekend.
It's worked pretty well. Sure we've missed gatherings because we were with the other family, and it sucked, but in following the schedule we were able to avoid hurt feelings. And one memorable year we had both immediate families and some extended family members come to our house for Thanksgiving. (We had two full tables: the regular one in the dining room, and one in the foyer so we were all together, if not seated at the same table. Otherwise there would have been a split between the dining room and breakfast area and feelings would have been hurt. Much easier to put a table in the foyer after everyone had arrived.)
So, this year...
Thanksgiving: At the in-laws.
Christmas: With DH's new job and lack of vacation time, my parents offered to come to our house for the first time and my grandmother will join us for dinner. This is excellent for many reasons, sleeping in our own bed vs. 2 twins merged to form a king is among the top. (Does any one else's parents keep twin beds in their guest rooms? Feel free to confirm my parents are weird!)
Who knows what next year will bring...but I have my hopes.
How do you schedule your holidays? Does physical distance from family play a part in your decisions? What has worked really well, or really poorly for you? Enquiring minds want to know!
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We do the same as you. SIL and her husband do the same, on the same schedule as well. So, we see ALL of DH's family and ALL of my family at the holidays we attend. It worked out pretty well... until this year I have no desire to see SIL so I kinda wish our schedule didn't coincide with theirs. But that's just me being b!tchy. :/
ReplyDeleteMy Mom lives three hours away and my husband's parents live down the street, so we often spend holidays with them and schedule off-times to celebrate with my family. I think my family might start doing Thanksmas this year, though, to save us from all the icy driving in our beleagured Kia car.
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