Round 2...

(upfront warning...reproductive issues discussed ahead...and some emotional rambling too! But if you skip to the last line you'll find out what my big gift to DH is...)

So, today starts Clomid round 2. And it seems that everyone but us is having no trouble at all with getting pregnant (Jamie Lynn Spears, I'm looking at you) or is already pregnant. My best friend from High School's Christmas card said she was due the beginning of May, one of DH's ski-patrol co-workers wife is recently pregnant. My MIL and I are throwing a shower for the twin-carrying wife of one of DH's cousins on Saturday.

(and yes, I'm aware that this is a very gross generalization and that I don't know that it's been a snap for everyone else, but I'm talking feelings here, not logic)

For some reason this is hitting me really hard today. Maybe it's because Frema just had her adorable little (big, really, really, big) girl, and the original plan was to get pregnant around the time she did last spring, so the timing on that is gone. Maybe because this is the first thing in my life that hasn't been mostly easy for me, or over which I have so little control. (I've been very lucky, what can I say?)

And I really really hate that I'm feeling this way before Christmas, when things are supposed to be happy and gay. I know this feeling will pass, but I'm wallowing a little bit before I let it go.

DH is calling today to make the appointment to have his swimmers checked, but with the holidays it probably won't be until after I (hopefully) ovulate on this round of Clomid. I really hope it's not him; this process is hard on him too, and being part of the problem is one more burden I don't want him to have to bear.

But I did get DH something* for Christmas to hopefully make the process a little more fun. Shhh, don't tell!

*This page may not be appropriate for work...just a warning.